.the gurl.

.maizatul husna ishak_
.mai_
.husna_
.baby_
.sweet seventeen [to be]_
.friendly_
.strong character_
.always earns what she works hard for_
.social bird._
.30.11.1989_
.QPS_qionan pri.ADPS_admiralty pri.AISS_ahmad ibrahim sec.NYP_nanyang poly_
.School of IT_Diploma in IT_
.NCC(Sea) Cadet Leiutenant_
.Drama of Malay Cultural Group_Pusaka Seni_
.Newbie in NYP Silat Team_
.Assyafaah Youth_

History

.Staff SGT of AISS NCC(Sea) unit .2005._
.Part A Platoon SGT .2005._
.GPA finalist .2005._
.Student council .2005._
.Metro sales associate .012005 to 032005._
.Pure Yoga flyer distributor .lol. .012005._
.more achievements i forgot... lol_

havanas sandals
ripples slippers
buy mum baju raya
mary-janes
pass 1106
another new phone
more money
my camera back
capsleeve
those dresses from Bugis
those tops from Bugis
make sumone's life beautiful
my frenz 2 b happy

.my luvers.

.afHam_
.ain_
.ammarah_
.amireaux_
.aniza_
.azli aka abgmeow_
.azlina_
.biSkuT adeQku_
.dil_
.dina_
.dindevil_
.dya_
.eeduh_
.eja_
.elana_
.elfi aka PrinceofCharms_
.eliaNa_
.emman sufiyann_
.fandi_
.firdaus aka fyre_
.hidayat aka yayat_
.hisyam_
.jannah aka ham2_
.jewelry aka doraemon_
.jing chuan_
.joNatHan_
.kahwei aka shane_
.kak sue_
.khuswandy aka kuZzo uno_
.mardia_
.mR franC_
.naNa_
.nasir_
.nicholas aka sid_
.nizal_
.raFiE
.ramdHan_
.sarah_
.serene aka da jie_
.sHahaNa aka nana_
.sHaiDa_
.suLina_
.siyu aka dead fish_
.syazwan_
.tarmidzie_
.wak_
.wanie aka kucing_
.wirna asyura_
.yadBlog_
.yadPoems_
.zahidah_


noticeme`-
.AISS nccsea_
.andayu_
.hqnccsea_
.NCC_
.NYP NCC_
.NYP Silat_
.SITinspirations_
.youtube_

.stop whining.

 

MY THANK U'S

Afianne
Blogskins.com
Kakii
Vbrush
Foto Decadent
 

LOOK BACK

May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x]

Saturday, July 29, 2006
 

Semakin hari aku rasalah
Kita macam makin serasi
Kau rasa tak?

Semakin hari semakin serasi
Bagai pagi dengan sinar matahari
Bagai malam dengan kerdipan bintang yang berseri

Terlintas saja hati belum ku luahkan
Kau dah pun tahu bagai tiada lagi rahsia
Antara diri kita berdua

Semakin hari semakin serasi
Bagai gelora dan laut air dan tasik
Tak dicemari bagai puncak dan lembah lereng dan titi

Terguris saja hati belum ku tangis ku
Dah kau belai seperti sakit ku ini
Kau yang terasa jiwa kita serupa

Kita bagai satu permata
Terbelah bercantum semula
Hingga langsung tiada terlihat garisnya
Pemisah halus rambut dibelah halus

Kita bagai satu jiwa
Yang bercerai terpatri kembali
Hingga langsung tiada terlihat lainnya
Di dalam hanya ada kekasih hati

Kekasih hati ku


life in family has been no difference. still the same. no progress. haiz... school's been stressed but im trying 2 cope. n i tink i will... hmms. this weekend is the busiest weekend of all. stayed at sch till dikir finished yest nite. watched miss congeniality in the MCG room, then went 4 de gig 4 awhile. quite bored. then went to watch the guys doing dikir... haha. fun. then went to the gig again 4 awhile. then atlast went off.

went to my sec sch. reached there around 10 plus. was surprised ncc land was havin their passing out parade at the same time as us too. haha. then went out of the sch around 12 to 1 plus. talked n ate abit. came back, had a lil chat wif my CO, my sir, Mr Ong. its sad to hear he is gonna leave the unit soon since he will be very busy in school soon. may he succeed, be well, best wishes 4 him. now the unit is left hanging. how about us? hmm... (thinking...)

then had sum sparring session at the yishun pri basketball court wif tan n rahman. haha. muay thai vs silat. lol. ok ah. muay thai quite deadly compared to a newbie in silat. then atlast i surrender to de sleepin bag on the joined table and awoke after 3 hrs. rushed home, got my uniform ready, couldnt find my beret. wth. took taxi to aiss. found a beret (thk god). watched the parade... gd luck 4 de new batch. i'll always b here 4 u all aite. im juz a call or sms away hafiz n daryl... to the rest too of coz.

then now, im at NYP doin my project. haha. blogging first since still drawing out the layout. gosh, sumone is confused which sch im at rite now. "u got 2 schs. which sch u at?" hahaha!!! yalah, guess dat no matter wad, AISS will 4ever b my school tho im in NYP now. =)

im so shagged n sleepy now. 2mr need to go 4 my religious class in de morning. then to my ex-colleague's engagement n then to felicia's bdae party. gosh. then monday still coming down 4 the part A's IMT. dotz. exams round de corner!!!!!!! aRGGGGGghhhhhhhh!!!


~mielaydee~

1:36 PM

::::mielaydee::::

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
 

haf not been blogging daily. haf not been feeling well. haf not been having the mood. have not been having de smile. haf not been having de face. have not been having the time. haf not been everything...

im losing my sight
losing my mind
will somebody tell me im fine?

notins olrite
notins been fine
im dying n im crying...


p.s./my death note to u: slit my wrist n bleed me to death...



~mielaydee~

7:25 PM

::::mielaydee::::

Monday, July 24, 2006
 

thkx 2 all who have been there 4 me 4 evrytin. n elf, u open up my eyes n made me see all those who actualie reali care 4 me. i love u guys. i feel damn lucky 2 b loved by u guys. thkx. u guys cheered me up alot.

had been puking 3 times 2dae. i dunno wads wrong wimme. haiiz. n i dun wanna go to de doc. no way hozey. not my type 2 go to the docs.


~mielaydee~

9:27 PM

::::mielaydee::::

its been a nice week recently tho some loopholes here n there. the norm. nevermind the idiot who calls himself dot tagging. i didnt do anytin wrong yet u wanna bombard me. u must b one of the MCG members i tink. if u r then im seriously disappointed ah. coz i love everyone in MCG no matter wad ah. hmmz.

when u haf choices... its always difficult to make. always in dilemma n if me, i would like to let go n shut myself out from the world. sorri ah bt this is juz the way i am... haiz.

wif so many upcomin tests n projects... n emotional probs.. i hope god, ALLAH will help me go thru this... insyAllah...



~mielaydee_sMuFYiaN~

3:29 PM

::::mielaydee::::

am so tired today. damn shagged i duno y. mayb coz i dun haf enuff energy intake. as in my energy intake is less than my energy output. blahhh. wad shit i tokin. haha...

went 4 silat today.haha. trained up abit. abit onli ah. bt when i sweat.... fuhhh. feels so great mann. gonna haf many tests all these comin weeks in sch. n i havent even started revision. mayb abit ah. abit onli. haiz. i duno wads gonna happen 4 maths n marketing. haiz. onli god will help me lor. wuhahaha...

betara karisma's tun perak song is damn nice. i like it. sooo nice. verrryyy nice. haha. gd luck u guys. n to my 4 pesilat frenz, gd luck in de finals. fite fite fite! win win win! here we go!!! after silat went home wif yan, zul n nureen. went down yishun n took de bus. was reali damn tired n got no energy to walk a long distance from admiralty mrt stn as per usual.

had fun today. damn fun. haha. blue n black la ehh.

gonna haf many plans this fri n weekends. bt im shagged.

adios.


~mielaydee~

10:54 PM

::::mielaydee::::

in the lab now. havin 10 mins break after a short 20MCQ test. quite easy i tink. MCQ ok ah. dun let me do open ended qns. confirm die. hahaha.

it has been a headache week. i dunoe y. haiz. life has been dull bt wif a lil color here n there. pocket money has been cut bt no big deal to me. coz i dun anymore. i dunoe. i lost appetite 4 food. eveytime i look at food i feel disgusted. i duno y. mayb its juz one of those times la.

anyway... to dya. we r juz frenz now. nothin more. juz like bro n sis. haha. dun worie gurl. anyway, thkx. luv u!

monday, yest, was ok. bt a very tired day. i felt damn shagged when i got home. din join elf n the rest 4 a movie coz if i were to, i would b home late by then. n get another scolding from dad again. so, sorie. haiz. nowadays i haf 2 try my best 2 gt home early. haiz. nvm la. tho i cant join in much wif many activities, bt atleast a lil bit will still spice up my life...

goin to Kluang this weekend wif the whole family 2 my mum's bro n oso sis home. my uncle n aunty coincidently live at the same town bt diff area. i tink i wanna stay wif my aunt coz my bestie guy cousin is there. so, we can haf time n njoy each other's company. yeay. i miss him. gonna bring my laptop too. n 2gether we can b the best hackers of the world. hehe. no la kidding. i hope we can do some vid clips of pics of us. yeayy. cant wait... =)


~mielaydee~

2:29 PM

::::mielaydee::::

hmm. din blog 4 2 days. ok. on fri... my laptop was bandung bathed. haha. then din on it 4 hours. but in the end it was ok.. thkx 4 askin darling kah weii. then after sch went to mit up wif abg an then we went to mcg room n soon after we all went home. then on sat... i awoken at 11am. then helped mum wif breakfast. ate abit then bathed n got ready 2 go out. met up wif my fren at pasir ris n followed him 2 his fren's pit. haha. was quite fun ah tho mendak. haha. din stay long coz he din want me 2 get scolding from dad again. so he sent me off to the mrt stn. n i went home. n 2day... so boring la ehh. got nothing to do. wuhahah. ~mielaydee~

6:04 PM

::::mielaydee::::

heyys. went to watch my sec sch concert, Jubilant at Victoria Theatre last nite. the band performance was superb as usual!!! met hendra!!! haha. long time nvr see him. the choir has improved ah. well done guys!!! =) bt of coz, the choir alumni's performance outshined all ahh!!! damn best ah u all!!! 3 cheers 4 suhaizad, beeying, lina n... i duno his name. hehe. fly me to the moon!!! i love u! haha.

went wif hisyam, hairul n their frenz. quite nice la hanging out wif sec 1 peeps. juniors la katekan... once in a while we do haf to connect to our younger generation n see wads goin on ahh.

went home n got a scolding from dad. haiz... he said dat eventho if my studies r superb or good, he will nvr b happy 4 me ever. dia tk redha. haiiz. nvm laa. i shldnt gif up. i shld juz do my best. yangsi said i did a stupid thing. by nt goin home early or anytin. quite true ahh. so, now, im tryin to change ah. i wanna make my parents happy...



im evil but still, i love myself. n ur gd at breaking hearts. n im gd at dat too bt i myself dun wanna b hurt... can i make myself 4get u? coz it hurts loving u...


~mielaydee~

1:13 PM

::::mielaydee::::

thkx khai...

thkx 4 all who were there 4 me juz now. it really meant alot to me. thkx. i love u guys.

to khai, thkz alot ah. tho sumtimes im reali angry n hurt by u n tink dat u r a jerk, i actualie love u alot ah. as a fren ah of coz. u r one of the frenz i will nvr ever forget ah, coz u n me haf been frenz since mcm forever ah.

to marni n sue, i love u two alot. u gurls r very gd sisters to me... when i needed a sister, u gurls are always there 4 me. n i reali appreciate u all. i love u.

to elfi, even tho i juz noe u, i reali love u alot ah. u r so patient wif my prangai n u r such a sweet fren ah. u r reali like my bro ah. how i wish u were reali my bro. i love u. thkx elf.

to aameer, thkx 4 bein my fren ah aameer. we juz recently got close since poly, n i reali treasure u ah. love u curly wurly...

to fadhil, u r juz like a fatherbto me. i love u lots lots ah. u r so matured n ur advises nvr stop processing in my mind. thkx papa!

to wir, u r like my mama, juz like fadhil, u r so motherlike. lub u! mwah

to ham, u r like a bestfren n kakak 2 me. i love u. mwah mwah.


im havin gastric


~mielaydee~

10:55 PM

::::mielaydee::::

as she walked out of the school gate,
she kept on thinkin of her new life.
the life beyond books.
the new freedom of life.

the new life she had.
was it worth it?
all the frenz she thought were there for her.
but tho she was around de people she called frenz,
she was still lonely.
she knew she never had a place in any of the people's hearts.

as she stepped in the train.
she stood at one side.
taking out her ear piece to listen to soothing songs,
to relax her mind.
she thought back on her life when she was 15.

it was hell for her.
knives were always on her back.
no hand was there around her.
all the hurting words went in her ears.
all shit dat she took.
never a rose was in her hands.

as she stared out of de window,
hot tears trickled down her cheeks.
this was my life, she thought.
n it still is. she screamed in her head.

all the way walking back home after the train ride,
she felt like fainting.
due to the stress she felt piling up,
result of all her bottled feelings.
then she decided,
she needed a painkiller.
a painkiller that will bring away her problems.

so she stopped by a playground.
took out a stick n lighted it up.
breathing in de minty n sweet taste,
she felt relieved.
all her problems in her head went away,
juz like the smoke out of her mouth n nostrils.

she took a walk around the playground.
she thought about wad happend juz 24 hrs b4.
she almost made her mum cry in front of her.
she knew she was wrong.
but she didnt haf any choice.
she had 2 lie to cover up a good thing she was doing.
but still, she couldnt take it dat she had 2 lie.
lies, n more lies everyday.
she knew, mayb, out of sight,
her mum was crying her heart out.
she didnt meant to do it.
but she juz cant find de right words n time to explain the whole thing.
she loves her mum very much.
who doesnt? (she thought)

lies n more lies. piling.
she juz cant take it anymore.
but she cant put it to words.
n now, sorry juz seem to be the hardest word.


a fiction story i made up myself. nice 2 read? if not, then nvm. my writing skills sucks. i noe. hahaz.



~mielaydee~

8:26 PM

::::mielaydee::::

oh gosh. im so god damn tired. production over, IVP begins. i helped out last nite n its was a damn great experience 4 me altho i screwed up so many times, embarassing myself.

anyway, all was a success for the production. everytin went great ah... the backstage moving of things from scene to scene... the intro, paluan, dikir, tarian n masq!!! but of coz, nothing beats de performance of de 5 main cast ah. in backstage, hearing their voices, assuming their actings n de reaction from audiences, plus feedbacks from audiences... i guessed it was de best out of the best Pusaka Seni's performance. Congrats to kakak, abang, fadhil, Mami n fren. n of coz congrats to the directors for their hardwork. n thks to ida, we haf a cute pondok. heehee. mcm amben kat kampong.


hmmm. i screwed up real bad 2day. shit shit shit. im sorry

kakak, i love u.
abang, i love u.
frenz, i love u.
mates, i love u.
Pusaka Seni, i love u.
NYP Silat, i love u.
Drama, i love u.
Silat, i love u.
Seni, i love u.
NCC, i love u.
Darling cadets, i love u.
AISS, i love u, still.
NYP, i love u.
Family, i reali reali actualie love u...
but im hurt by u.



~mielaydee~

7:39 PM

::::mielaydee::::

5:37 PM

::::mielaydee::::

yest was de first time i slept early after i dunoe how many years. 10.30pm. wow. n im still so tired. there is juz too much to do bt so lil time. partly mayb bcoz i love procrastinating.

goin 4 drama n silat later in de afternoon. the silat uniform is ready 4 collection. woww weee. bt now i haf one prob. where m i suppose 2 hide it n even wash it? mayb i will jus ask the help of my cousin. i hope she supports me then. haiz. in the lab now. waiting 4 the tutor to give us password to continue on doin our test for microsoft excel. i tink its kind of no point ah. coz after doin, i will forget. so wads de point? ryt? hahaha.

watch mega perdana last nite on the telly. almost forgot till i saw the nick of one of my msn contacts. i watch after 30mins it started. hmmm. it was unlike de usual mega perdana. they dun reali show the performance this time. they cut too much n they featured too much on how the grp started n all. its quite gd ah. bt dun cut too much n prevent us from watching de full performance. disappointed ah.

stuck wif mostly emo malay songs now. dunnno y. hahaha. n stuck wif playing worms on my hp. =) damn fun la ehh... i can even get into the game itself juz like how guys watch soccer. hehe. ok, im done. gotta do my test now. =)


~mielaydee~

10:06 AM

::::mielaydee::::

wth. he went wifout saying gdbye. m i not his fren? or he is juz plain lazy? ergh.

life has been dull for me.

~mielaydee~

12:37 PM

::::mielaydee::::

god, i almost dozed off waiting 4 this page 2 b uploaded by the server. not bcoz it is slow. becoz im too tired.

wokeup early in morning. wore formal to sch. had presentation. comm skills. then went to TFA, theatre for de arts in sch 4 de production full rhsl. so drained out. haiz.

take care everyone. i love all of u,my frenz. gonna meet sum of de mango guys 2mr. insyallah. =) see u all 2mr.


~mielaydee~

12:24 AM

::::mielaydee::::

god... its so bored 2dae. bt hey, i finished up comm skill's assignment. got ready sum white shirt. bt still out of ncc skirt. ergH.

basically juz went 4 my religious class from 8-11. but i went in at 9. hehehe. hmm. then went home wif mum. met this siao guy who boarded de bus wifout a shirt while talking to himself. fell asleep in de bus when nearing home. walked de long distance home from the bus stop wif mum. then thought of havin a nap. bt couldnt. so proceeded wif assignment. then watched sum TV. then cooked mee bandung. then... searched 4 de costumes 4 de production. then log on msn.

boring rytE? oh yah. chatted wif ain. n yeah. boys r pain in de butt. all the JANtan.... haha. to my guy homies. u guys r 1/2 de pain ah. u guys r still a lil pain in de butt. haha. bt, c'mon, i love u guys my frenz =)

gotta iron my formal clothes 4 kamalam's presentation soon. surprisingly, i didnt spend anytin 2 buy formal clothes. im reusing, mixing n matching. too much spenditure ah recently. pity my mum. she looked so sad when giving me money 2 top up n activate my ezlink. i felt like crying sey. i reali can see her pain. how i wish i m workin n not using her money... :(


~mielaydee~

9:06 PM

::::mielaydee::::

its after 1 mth dat i went 4 silat trg today. n it felt great. tho i had side stitch and was a lil heavy on the head. i pushed myself n i did it. i did had sum veri minor injuries. on hands n feet. bt it feels nice. =) i miss n love silat trg. after the production end, i will attend silat as usual. n of coz, attend PS normally.

woke up so sleepily. took a quick bath, packed and dressed. went out of the house. my ambition was to meet ain at last cabin of adm mrt stn by 9.45. bt ended up she was late. so i proceeded on my own. n shit la. went i boarded de bus, my sec sch ez-link expired. n i didnt haf coins. so i made a mangkuk face. luckily i was wearing shades. wuhahaha. paiseh. anyway, then i bought the ticket to yck mrt. dropped there, n while collecting my deposit, met rafie and we walked to sch together, went by de back. so damn bloody hot. sweating all the way. its been a long time since i met him. not much conversations tho coz i was listenin 2 songs n he was wif his thoughts. bt i talked sum basic stuff wif him. his face looked tired n stressed. yah, wif projects n assgnmts. wad else?

trg was nice ah. more comp based. counter-attack n throws. fun ah. bt today,many ppl were injured. i oso had my first injuries, wif ain. hehe. ended off, n went to meet up wif the homies. they were havin dikir. walked out of sch wif them to mrt stn. boarded the train wif aameer n An.

walked home. bought sum food since i was starving n then headed home. put the stuff n lied strait on de bed, and suddenly i became paralysed. haha. then fadilla called n asked me over. n im goin over soon after blogging now. heehz.

6 more days to Pondok production. c'mon ppl, we can do it. to the main cast, cmon, i believe in u guys! =)


~mielaydee~

7:23 PM

::::mielaydee::::