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moved

2006-10-18T16:39:00.000+08:00

great weekend

2006-10-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

wow. it was a great weekend.! n very tiriing ah. dun noe wad 2 blog on fri n was so tired practically slept the whole day...

saturday:
woke up on my own 4 sahur! surprising gilaa! haha. n even ate!!! wow. stylle sey. then cleaned de table, washed the dishes. then solat. then couldnt sleep, chatted wif an kecik n dlwded hari raya songs upon his request. haha. then my cousin n her daughter came 2 bake kueh tart wif my mum. then couldnt sleep bcoz of my niece. then along came my cousins when i was juz abt 2 fall asleep after my niece went out of my room. wif de noise, i fell asleep 4 awhile. then wir called at abt 11.15 2 ask me 2 meet de gang by 11.30. in de end i was left out since they had 2 reach sch first. lol.

had rehearsal 4 awhile n then we all went 4 iftar at makmur restaurant. i missh u laarrr. then we went 2 Geylang!!! n i felt so tired n went off earlier. reached home n slept all the way.

sunday:
woke up 4 sahur for juz a drink of plain water. n then couldnt take my fatigue, i slept all the way till 2pm! my mum was sooooo angry wif me 4 nt wakin up 4 my religious class! n i had exam!!! guess im gonna fail. its 2 paperS! dammnn. nvm. haiz. all myself 2 blame. then washed abit dishes after wakin up n got ready 4 iftar wif de silat members. met ain at jurong East mrt stn. i miss her alot! those who were there were me, ain, shuhadah, atiqah, rafie, azlina, shoe, azrie, shahrul, fadhil, sub, izat, yayat n fanana, anuar n sri, wan n de GF, rafeah n fiza!

then some of them went off n de rest of us went to clark quay at fat bird 2 lepak2. gerekkk!!! maha gerekkk!!! n istillmishuuuuu then we went off at arnd 10pm. haha. anuar n sub all the way talkin abt their business while me n the rest sung, take pics n all. on the train home, had a very hot topic 2 talk abt 2 anuar. it was nice ahh. haha. at least he understands.

2mr start school!!! yeayyness. haha. not bored anymo. gonna do my best in Sem 2.! wish me luck. n thkx fadhil 4 de talk. =)

i sooo mishh u

~mielaydee~

missing out

2006-10-12T12:03:00.000+08:00

reading thru some of my mates' blogs... wow. there so much im missing out on i realised. mostly i miss out alot of NCC's events. gosh, how i wish i was more active n hyper like de gd old days. bt sumtimes, when i tink n look at how NCC is now, i feel lazy to go. i feel like NCC is different. hmmmsh.

oh wells, yest went for the Hari Raya production rhsl. it was fun. had mC's for breaking fast. the laughter n de irritated feelin of dok was such a stress reliever. haha. khai played de chords for 'my heart' while me, jannah, wir n elly sung our hearts out! haha. then i had my scene to rehearse. k, it was my first time rehearsing n wif elfi too. n i didnt memorise my script. nvr even read thru it. haha. sowwie. bt in de end i guess it was okkay. bcoz i instilled my energy towards my character. bt the funny part was when An kecik said his line about me n the reaction dat elfi as my husband gave. it was sooo funny la eh.

n then there was de blurr n deaf tok penghulu. hahaha! n the cute salina. who was sick n tired after attchmt yest. kecian haz. thkx 4 de ride home haz.

early this morning, recieved an email from DC CPT Oliver abt a Youth Expedition Programme to India. its in Dec. i tot of going. its free n its experience & knowledge r priceless. i tink i shld go. bt i will give it a long thought again. coz i tot of going to other countries instead. bt now itself is an open opportunity.

Gosh, i miss my boys n gurls. wonder how they r doing. waiting 4 them to resume trg oready. hurry up la. ma'm wont haf any more time when sch starts. miss u guys!!!

im missing u badly...

~mielaydee~

sejarah mungkin berulang

2006-10-11T12:31:00.000+08:00

feeling lifeless currently. gt mood 4 nutin... goin 4 drama rhsl later... cant wait. atleast i can do sumtin. i dun miss working. bt i miss bein busy. i miss NCC!!!! aRRRRRRRRRRgh. i miss miss miss NCC. n i miss silat! i even dreamt jogging around de sch's track wif de silat ppl.

i miss bein rugged. i miss bein single. (sorri) coz i miss doin rough activities n pretending 2 b a boi. i miss rock climbing, i miss kayaking. i miss screaming my throat out durin NCC. i miss giving commands 4 drills. i miss my sec sch days. i miss fina. i miss nadiah. i miss hairini. i miss laughing out loud at de lamest jokes by nadiah. bt most of all, i miss U!!!

i miss u. alot.

~mielaydee~

bored dayy

2006-10-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

Beratnya rasa hati nak melangkah pergi
Tetapi apakan daya aku terpaksa
Buat kali terakhir inginku mengucapkan
Semoga dirimu berbahagia selalu
Tentang diriku ini terserah padaMu tuhan menentukan

Tak perlu kau bertanya ke mana kupergi
Pandailah aku menjaga diriku ini
Sekali kumelangkah oh biarlah kuteruskan
Perjalanan ini walaupun sendirian
Hanya tuhan yang tahu duka lara hidupku ini
Tak terkata aduhai sayang

Kumasih lagi teringat bicaramu yang terakhir
Pedihnya hingga menikam kalbu bisanya
Selamat tinggal sayangku
Selamat tinggal kasihku
Aku terpaksa pergi dahulu
Kerana terluka hati ini

Kiranya tempias membasahi jendelamu
Itulah airmata yang jatuh di pipiku
Kiranya sang bayu menyentuhi paras wajahmu
Oh itulah rinduku yang menyebut namamu
Setelah kian lama tak jumpa

was there any wrong move? y did i feel dat there is somethin nt right?

~mielaydee~

my heart/bila rindu

2006-10-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

Di sini.. Kau dan aku..
Terbiasa bersama..
Menjalani kasih sayang..
Bahagia Kudenganmu..

Pernahkah.. Kau mengintai..
Hari paling indah..
Ku ukir nama kita berdua..
Di sini syurga kita..

Bila kita mencintai yang lain..
Mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar..
Sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
Sayangku akan hilang..

If we love somebody could we be this strong..
I will fight to win our love will conquer all..
I wouldn't risk my love..
Even just one night..
Our love will stay in my heart..
My heart..

woke up damn late 2dae. arnd 12pm if nt mistaken. then i cleaned up my room, tidy up my cupboard n rest. didnt noe cleaning my cupboard can b damn tiring... bt yeaY, atlast i completed my long time task. almost terbatal pose in de train while on the way 2 bugis. ye la. sabar.. naseb tk bocOr.

then washed up n went out to meet elly, muz n fiq at Bugis. walked around 4awhile. then we head off to geylang 2 break fast. joined by 2 of muz n fiq's frenz, syasya & nura. 2 veri nice gurls... veri sweet la theyy. me n elly ate nasi ayam penyet. ke penyek? haha. we went hunting 4 muz's n fiq's baju raya. then joined by muz's cuzzie, putra. is it? i tink so, dats his name. haha. n i tink i met fuad rahman n this other guy celebrity which i cant put his name 2 his face. haha. n on de train, another celeb. this chi guy. veri de handsome. cant recall.

feel so tired. reached hm at abt 11.45pm is it? cant recall. so tiredd.

there's only one word. trust.

Di kamar awan yg kelabu
Seakan ku hilangkan rindu
Membawa kenangan semalam
Semua tuk' bersamamu

Terasa indahnya dunia
Saat kita masih bersama
Tempuhi kenangan yg silam
Membuatku terlena

Bila rindu.. ku sebut namamu
Bila resah.. menyesak di dada
Bila rindu.. ku panggil namamu
Bila resah.. gelisah terasa
Kemanakah hati kan ku bawa

Kau ku nanti di hujung rindu dan bertemu di dlm khayalan
Kan ku nanti di puncak rasa
Asmara kita membakar jiwa
ku berikan hati ini kepadamu..kekasihku..

~mielaydee~

another MC day

2006-10-08T18:39:00.000+08:00

took MC again 2dae. this time im down wif flu n bad throat. must b de stupid haze. burnt $25 at Banyan Clinic. oh well, main thing is i get better. bt im still fasting. i'll juz eat de medicine once a day.

then slept till syg msged me. awaken n then gave him a call. so noisy his house 2dae. gt special appearance of 2 badOts from dunow which circus they escaped from. haha. then he wanted 2 sleep plak. the moment abt to put the phone down my fren called. i was juz thinkin of sleepin back. then had a chat 4 awhile. helped mum peel of taugeh's butt off while talkin. then peeled boiled egg's skin. then went out to causeway pt 2 find sumtin 2 spend on. bought black pepper chicken from cold storage, carrot cake, cheese hotdog n dadih from the bazzar.

saw iskandar ismail sing his throat out. haha. fasting still sing liddat. aiyo. i dun where he gt the energy from seyy. bt i still like elfie ismail better. the bro. not our PS NYP elfi ah. haha. k, then took de bus home. met one of my SSC cadet. hakim his name? i tink. the one i cut the hair till so uglY. hahah. i laughed to myself in de bus after walkin past him n sat down at one of de seats at de back. haha. i was shocked n wide-eyed 2 see him. he was sniggering duno 4 god noes waD. i jz said heluuuu.

reached hm, n here i m blogging. overall it was nice nt workin. i guess i wont b workin anytime sooner. haha.

sayangi daku, peluklah daku, janji dgnku semailah cinta nan satu... -siti,cahaya cinta-

~mielaydee~

a trip to geylang wif sweetie

2006-10-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

damn tired today n hate the weather. nonetheless the day was great. njoyed it wif syg. went to work from 11-3pm 2dayy. had a buddy again. tired laa. then after work met him at paya lebar. off we went hunting 4 my baju pink!!! it was a difficult search 4 me. i almost cried sey givin up. thkx dear 4 accompanying me!

dear was sweating alot n oready so tired. n i, de bloody fool keep on tripping on him. ye la. he wear shoe. i wear slippers. haha. then we met aBg aN!!! haha. was damn shocked. coz me n him heard someone shouting "YAN!!!" haha. then i saw abg. jahat tol. jerit name yan. tknk jerit mai. thkx eH!

in de end i bought this pink kebaya i reali liked. tho it was abit big bt its shoulder n chest part was juz nice 4 me. can alter abit. then after dat, bought capal 4 syg. then bought sum drinks n food. the cheese hotdog.

haha. n we broke fast in de train. haha. wib de help of dila. thkx gurl, 4 callin me 2 tell me can break fast. then went home.

walked home from the mrt stn as usual. n gosh!!! it was damn hazy!!! n de smell so pungent. my face was cramped all the way. haha

ok la. im tired n done blogging.

mishing u, loooving u. thkx 4 everytin... (=

~mielaydee~

faithful

2006-10-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

with every breathe i take,
i picture u in my mind...
with every step i take,
my heart beats for u...

loving u more each day....
yes i am...

oh wells. got an MC. he panicked when i told him wad de doc told me. dun wori darling, im gonna b fine. no matter wad, im always here 4 u... dun u worie sweetie. bt i myself m worried. bt its gonna b nutin. nutin 2 worrie abt. well, broke fast at dila's juz now. it was a nice day wif her. lending her bed 2 me. wuhahahaha! love u too dila! bt nt as much. hehe. bluEks.

~mielaydee~

more n more?

2006-10-06T09:44:00.000+08:00

gosh. tired of work yesT. so tiring. till i fall siCk. haiiz. im so tiredddd...

bt it was nice after work laz nite. wished it nvr ended...

loving u more each day... am i?

~mielaydee~

yakin

2006-10-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

Bukalah hatimu untuk diriku
Sebelum cinta hilang
Seperti bintang kupuja dirimu
Seperti malam datang

Yakinkan cintamu kepadaku
Agar aku bisa memiliki
Setulus hatiku mencintai dirimu

Lupakanlah semua mimpi-mimpi
Walaupun bayangnya menghantui
Yang kadang ingin selalu memilih cinta

Katakan bila hatimu tak bisa
Memberi cinta yg indah
Jangan memaksakan ingin yg lain
Tunggulah cinta memanggil
Bukalah hatimu untuk diriku
Sebelum cinta hilang

Aku hanya ingin cinta itu pasti
Jangan ada lagi keraguan
Aku hanya ingin cinta yg abadi
Seperti air

'Stay Alive' was greaaat. all thru the show i was holdin on my breath. hahaha. it was so suspense killing n thrilling. 5 thumbs-up! hehe.

stick wif u...

~mielaydee~

tiada lagi

2006-10-03T17:18:00.000+08:00

sia sia sudah
kita jalin cinta
bila hati
slalu berbeda

sampai kapan lagi
ku harus menahan
rasa kecewa di dlm dada

senadainya kita masih bersatu
tk mungkin kan menyatu
walao masih ada sisa cinta
biarkn saja
berakhir sampai di sini

tiada lagi yg ku harapkn
tiada lagi yg ku impikan
biar aku sendiri tanpa dirimu
tiada lagi kata cintamu
takkan lagi ku bersama mu
biarku simpan semua
kenanganku bersama mu

-amy search-

~mielaydee~

a gud gerl's day

2006-10-03T12:52:00.000+08:00

woke up at abt 10 plus by the phone. watched sum tv. cartoons. wuhahaha! its been a long time since i watched cartoons. x-men was nice!!! the only cartoon i concentrated the most on.

then here i am blogging n msn-ing. im gonna go to sleep again soon. tired ah. need 2 recuperate 4 de many time i lack sleep. i need my beauty sleep. i'll blog agaIN 2Dae i guess. toodles doo.

for who u are, i thank you...

~mielaydee~

a walk down memory lane

2006-10-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

woah. im veri tired n shagged.

saturday:

woke up early in de morning. bt still, woke up late. washed up. n met de notherners. seems like ppl is wearin black n white all de time 4 MCG. i was too tired again 2 enjoyed n the scences juz touched my heart ah. wonderin wads gonna happen 2 me in de future. in 3 weeks time. durin hari raya. haiiz. then went 2 bugis wif de boss, de abg, wirna, fadhil, zai, ayul, yazid, hairi n afiq. a nyonya dat afiq talked to slapped my butt when i stood up 2 walk. i was sittin bside her n was playin game on de hp. aiyo. paiseh la she slap my butt!

then went to bedok. took a bus there. i slept the whole journey there ah! so comfy mahh. yela, ade bantal tersedia perr. wuhahaha. then after droppin down oso still we took another bus 2 simpang bedok to break fast. it was nice breaking fast together. lets see if i can remember...
yazid n zai: nasi briyani, chicken n mutton respectively
fadhil n hairi: nasi pattaya
wirna n me: horfun
ayul: nasi goreng
yan: nasi sambal ayam goreng
abg: kuey teow pattaya
afiq: aku tak tau ape kau makan. soweee.

then took a bus (AGAIN!) to EastPoint to see rusydi perform. a percussion group. cool la ehhh. geweekkk. then went home in a taxi. tired...

sunday:

worked in de morning. till nite. 1 hr break onli!!! gosh. didnt eat well. after work, took a long walk down memory lane. it was nice. tho i was sooo tired. haha. juz happy. =)

n now im here, gonna go 2 sleep soon. gd nyt.

totali tired n outZ. all misunderstandings comes 4 a reason. face it or lose it.

~mielaydee~

mcm biase jugakKk

2006-09-30T05:46:00.000+08:00

well, woke up in de morning. 9.30am. quickly washed up n dressed up to follow mummy to geylang 2gether wif kak as n adilah. walked arnd n tot dat nothing was there much at ferst bt when it came 2 de baju kurung n kebaya... damn hot lah!!! Pink Pink Pink! wanna buy one. bt still waiting 2 see one dat i reali reali love. bought one orangy brown oreadyy. so veri de nice u noe. i tried it on n it juz fits my whole body nicely. perfectly. the cutting n all. as if it follows my measurement. except for a fact dat de bottom which was a bit long. other than dat, perfectO!

then went 2 tampines to meet mat noor n syahiid. at street 11. atlast i stepped onto my old area after 9 yrs!!! haha. so far, i have onli notice from afar. mat noor still remembers me vaguely. haha. then off we went 2 play pool at Bedok to kill time. i n mat noor had a bad day at pool. we were juz cursed n couldnt get the ball in so many times. streSSss. syahiid could easily n smoothly put in de ball. then after dat we broke fast at Bedok ctr hawker ctr. haha. i drank 2 big giant cups of drink. sheesh. n didnt finish my food. then off we went 2 de lib 2 relax n sit down. haha. then off we went to dunoe-wher-the-hell the place is, juz sat n watched ppl play soccer. then off we went home. hahaha. next up is a trip up north. =)

i dunoe wad happened during sahur juz now at the table. bt i almost broke down n cryy. wad wrong again haf i donE??? did i? haiiizz. nvm, fasting...cannot cry.

ada apa dgn cinta? ada s.a.y.a.n.g

~mielaydee~

first rshl of hari raya production 06

2006-09-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

wow. it was a blast juz now. Haz is so cute acting as Salina. hehe. Hairi is so comedic. bt i was tooo tired 2 reali enjoy watchin.

juz now after work i walked arnd toa payoh central wif syaFiQ while waiting 4 yan n hairi 2 meet me near my workplace. they took a bus 2 toa payoh n take train to sch wimme. then met abg an at de frontgate of school. haha. gosh he hit me saket la eh. n its like he lifted me up n my leg was like twisted seyy. aiyoh. ye lah. my fault. sori la abg. bt tk bagus tauu. tkmo uat agii laaa. plllllsss.

then went 2 sch. buka at sch. haha. it was nice to hang out wif MCG-ians. =)

im soooo tired la ehh...

im still waiting... hope dat time will come. pretty pls... patience...

~mielaydee~

its a small world afterall

2006-09-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

its a small world afterall...

so much 2 blog abt. haha. bt most excited thing was i found back one of my childhood bestie.. mat noor!!! oh gosh. so excited. thru syahiid my fren, this east CLT, i found my childhood bestie. n it was nice 2 chat back wif him. tho he tries n tries 2 remember me. coz now i look so bloody different n yet so familiar to him. he does too anyway!!! haha. gonna meet up wif him soon. cant wait!

gonna take my supp paper 2mr. wish me luck... did pantry like hell 2day. wow. nvr haf i ever felt damn tired like juz now. i did pantry form 11.30am till 2.45pm. n sat till 3pm n then go home. gd thing suP Ely was nice enuff 2 let me rest. talked 2 hafiz 4 awhile. haha. we is so against the cat abuser. haha. n de cat in de paper looks like him sia. lol. cute la eh ko, hafiz.

met kak lala, kak noi n the kathira gang at de annur bazaar juz now. met ain along. i guess i will break fast wid dem on weD then.

HADY MY BOIFY WON THE S'PORE IDOL. HADY MIRZA ROCKS!

haven't i always loved u?
coz when i need u,
ure almost here...

n u always took my love for granted...
n when i tink of u...
im close to tears
coz ure always nvr here...

i still miss u... if u wanna noe...

~mielaydee~

september babieS

2006-09-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

ok, so sorie. 23 sept, yest was sufyan hadi ishak's n muhd farhan amran's bdae. hapi hapi bdae boys. 18 oreadyyy. anyway, it doesnt matter. u guys gt ur present n was wished by me thru sms earlier on.

n today is my dear hazhim's bdae. happi bdae bro. may u b happy always n take care of urself. lol.

ok, today is bloody tiring yet exhilirating! the combined trg was damn greeeaaat. hahaaha. reali enjoyed myself. then went to town 2 lunch n walk arnd b4 work wif elfiqa, khai, meer n wir. sori darlin fiqa, mai had 2 leave earlier 4 work. haha.

work was tiring bt fun oso. got a new fwen. n then sumtin quite happie happened. lol. ok. im damn tired. got religious class at 8am later. n its de fasting mth!!! Ramadhan!!! =)

paip bocor la eh. thkx eh. sorri Ramadhan, tk dpt layan kau mase first2 dtg. haiz

~mielaydee~

great great day shopping

2006-09-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

today marks a darn great day 4 me. im sooooo blooooooody happY!

let me start off from de veri veri beginning. i slept at 3am. haha. awoke 4 prayers at 6.30am. then thkx 2 yan again... i awoke at 7.30am! bt i gave up n went back 2 sleep arnd 8am n awoke at 9am. washed up n got ready 4 sch 2 go for my supp remedial of 1106. the lesson was interesting n at least i wasnt alone. haha.

ok then, met up wif farid n we watched 'Haunted Apartments'. the story is damn greaaaat. i tell u. u shld watch it. its similar to 'Shutter'. go watch it. ok. then paid my bill, met wif an old pri sch fren, zulhilmi. bought eyeliner... met eliana. then off we went off to Bugis Village. de 4 of us. reached Bugis, withdrew money n me n eli started to 4get de world.

we juz went round n looked 4 nice clothes, asked 4 de price n juz buy n buy. i spent sooo much. haha. oh ya. b4 we went to Bugis, we dropped at Orchard to Far East Plaza for awhile n then to Heerens n guess waD?

I BOUGHT THOSE HAVANAS TREKKING SANDALS!!!!!!!!

hurray 4 mai! yahooo!!! bt then now she's broke after spendin on tops n those sandals. n of coz, after paying her bill which is as high as Mt. Ophir. lucky nt yet like Everest. then met up wif wir, jannah, khai, meer, elfi. we went off to the Kampong Glam thingy concert. b4 it started, we all went round de bazaar for sum food. i was starving n stupidly bought a burger from this stall. nt dat pro-ly cooked bt it was nice still. khai bought drinks, when i had juz bought a drink 4 myself. nvm. then khai bought sum mee goreng. sedapp ah. i tink i ate his mee more than my burger. haaha!

it was nice havin khai back wif us. i miss bein angry wif him. haha! siao. k then we watched de show. it was greaaaat. n c'mon la!!! they sang 2 of se songs dat both me n Elf duet at Afiq's house at de starting of de show. 'Keliru' n 'Hanya Memuji'. at first was 'Keliru' n i was like "Elf, remember this song? we did a duet on it" n Elf was smiling n nodding. Then strait after dat was 'Hanya Memuji' n this time, Elf was like "MAI!!! its the song we duet too la eh!!!" n i was de one laughing n nodding. 5!!!

Hyrul Anwar is officially BOTAK! haha. n Fuad Rahman is sooooo cool. Rima Melati can sing better than Norfasarie!!! n Azyza's voice is my dream voice!!! arggh. Damn. n now, Elfi has a hotter celeb in his heart, Rima...! haha. then the show ended wif guess wad? Fuad n Man Toyak singing 'Mentera Semerah Padi'! haha. we were like... thkx eh! production song! i was like laughing all the way la. couldnt take it nymore man.

then we went off b4 10 bcoz actualie 4 viewers there, the concert was till 10pm. wif roslan shah, amy mastura n rahimah rahim performing. then the rest went 2 lepak bt i went hm. need to rest n dont want my mum 2 worry again.

n guess waD? i met Cupcake! my long lost bestie from Sea HQ Specs!!! gosh. we were like huggin infront of de train entrance. then we said "ok, we better go in first" haha. then we hugged again.
n we talked n we talked n we talked. i miss u Cupcake. Sweetiepie misses Cupcake.

then while talkin i met hairini. on de other door. she didnt wanna join me n gave me a mid finger. haaha. thkx gurl. i gave her one back. haha. its de new way of sayin hi. haha. n then met vedha n gokila. my batt was flat n vedha n hairini sms-ed me. no wonder a sudden bit of cold shoulder.

but all in all...

today is helluva greeaaaaat day man. Chheeerrrios.

~mielaydee~

i dont mind.

2006-09-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

i dont mind. haha. serious. im cool. ;) tho i dun understand y. bt its ok. ku sedari.

ok, after work, went to check my pay. n wow. it was alot. syukur alhamdulillah. thks to ALLAH. then kef wanted 2 eat at mac. so me, farid, mariam n kef ate at mac n took last train home. it was fun out wif them. kef went down at khatib. then farid left me at admiralty. no, its de other way round. i left him. haha! jahat. tknk antar org alik! tkper...

went home at 1am. got the normal routine of lecture. same old thing over n over again. n now, i cant sleep. jus sms-ing farid. he cant sleep too. haahaa.

bt later gt sch! haf 2 reach atleast by 10.30am seyyy. n cant wait 4 combined trg of MCG 2mr! yan, hairi, abg zul! jgn buih!!!! abg an, tk leh harap la lu! =p

n cant wait 2 go bugis to shop shop. im gonna buy dat havanas hiking sandals!!! yeahhhs. cant wait cant wait cant wait.

n i miss hazhim. he is gonna fly off soon. tata fwen... =( take care n haf a safe journey to n fro.

oh goody... im olryt now. =) mai is back on track! ready? set? GOOOOOOO....!!!

ever so fun-loving... mai aka mielaydee! cheers. ;)

~mielaydee~

sober

2006-09-21T10:23:00.000+08:00

woke up early in de morning by a call from my colleague. her mum called 2 ask help from me coz she wants 2 resign. more n more ppl r resigning. i m gonna too.

then after the call, i suddenly felt sad. i dunoe. i felt a sudden loss in me. y? im ok ryt? im nt sad ryt? i dunoe... im ~~okay~~! =/

then another call came in. aiyoooo. haha. tot i could go back 2 sleep. bt then yan called 2 ask help 2 check his attchmt schedule n ward. he always makes me feel stupid. 4 declining my mother's wishes of seeing me as a nursing student. yan made me haf interest in nursing... k, nt onli him oso la. quite a few of my members r nursing stud... like abg an, abg zul, ibrahim, hairini n all... ok stop it mai. haiz.

i guess if i reali cant cope wif IT, i haf 2 go into nursing. bt i guess i can cope wif IT. onli dat im juz reali disappointed n confused y my 1106 got an F. n bcoz of it, my GPA is horrible! truly horrible! haiz.

everytym that happens, i will fall sick. wif flu, wif headache. n my lips run dry n sore. if i eat spicy or hot food, it will sting my lips. ouchhh.

gonna b a gd gurl n stay at hm b4 goin 2 work 2dae. gonna clean, cook, watch vcd n accompany my mum at hm till i go to work...

im still so sad... hmmmz. i duno la. gt no mood.

bt anyway, i reali had a fun day out wif eed in de early part yest... love eed to bits n pieces. love u darling. we always clique well. haha. eed is de onli bestie i still go out n contact wif from my previous job. i guess we were meant to b gd frenz 4ever. juz like dil n me. haha.

n actualie, out wif de MCG-ians were great la. damn great. sori la guys. i was reali sensitive la last nite. still am actualie. haha. im still gonna play jump in de box. heehee.

aameer: u say the darndest things.
khai: im gonna b a gd gurl. haha!
wir: sori la
elfi: =)
dya: sori n =)

~mielaydee~

thks eh

2006-09-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

thks eh ppl. 4 makin my day. tot it would end nicely. bt oh wells. nvm. guess warning isnt enuff. its nt de first time. bt oh well. i realise who i am...

n thkx mum. 4 wishin me wadever u did these past few days. if u hope so much i'll b liddat. insyallah tuhan izinkn. a mum's prayer. will always b granted. anyway, thkx so much 4 encouraging me 2 bcome more ignorant. makin me feel like i dun wanna come home nymore.

n to u, im still missing u. bt i guess at the same time, i also dun wanna see u. period.

to kak sue, n everyone who tinks so... no, im nt attached. im single mingle jingle. mayb u guys see so liddat. bt no la. no.

i so want to buy those dresses at bugis. cant wait 4 pay day. n on fri, to kampong glam. n i want sum seisha...! or better, laughing gas!!!

im gonna try b a gd gurl... b sweet n more laydee-like... oh myy! dats a great challenge!

~mielaydee~

friggin F

2006-09-20T09:26:00.000+08:00

gosh. my results r damn bad!!! i got a friggin F for 1106! 1106?!!! no way ryyt? impossible siaaaa. ergh. damn la.

bt then my mum n fidott said dat i shld b able 2 make it 4 de supp paper since im doin okay. so i gt nothin 2 worri abt. oryt then. haiz. im tryin 2 calm myself now.

i miss sumone so much. i reali miss dat sumone. bt wad to do... haiz. n im falling sick soon. n i dun feel like werking anymore bcoz its takin more n more of my mental capacity. so, im gonna b stressed up more than usual i guess... i duno lahz.

gonna go out 2day. bt duno where. haiz.

i miss u... so much

~mielaydee~

tired n broken

2006-09-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

gosh. im tired. n broken.

bt the day was great. hanging out wif my bestie.

karaok-ing.
lepak-ing.
cook-ing.
eat-ing.
sleep-ing.
laz-ing.

n many more. haha. im so sleepy dat i can fall asleep now. bt i wanna wait 4 results at 12md. im very afraid n nervous. oh gosh. wad if i fail?!!! i noe i will. esp C Maths. haiiiz. how how how? n this whole week is so boring. the plans r so bored. :( im so sad. n im missing sumone. bt wad can i do... haiiz. nvm la...

i love everyone! mwah mwah!

~mielaydee~

jamming was gewek

2006-09-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

korg gewek ah. thkx 4 de jamming session aameer, yus, an N elfi. wir n eliana was there too. haha.

i can say, aameer is damn good on the guitars. yus shld realli stick to drums. N an, pls dun 4get ur promise to learn 2 b gd on bass n lead. haha. bt overall, u guys can reali make a band. wif elfi on de lead, nt bad ah. or u guys want me? hehe. or mayb us both? haha. bt it was cool singing wif elfi. tho mayb we reali need 2 tune our pitches on de same channel. i guess elf went high bcoz i was high. he had 2 catch up wimme. bt it was damn great wif u guys.

fasting month coming up soon. gonna b busy wif work, helpin out at the mosque's stalls n school. hmmm. n oso, the upcomin hari raya production. haiiiz.

guess im gonna b in de ignorant mood 4 a long time. its either i'll b ignorant or irritating. dats my 2 moods as for now. gd luck ppl. no more miss nice laydee...

im so tired. i can sleep till next week! n nvr wake up. haha! bluff sia. bt i overslept this morning. alarm at 8.30am bt i self awoke at 8.45am i duno y. my biological clock woke me up i guess. rushed to bathe n everytin. went work alone. lucky reached 10.30am. relaxed abit n then started work. did pantry again. this time cleared rubbish, mopped n swept. ely helped me along. haha. siao la dat women. bt i love her. ok la. im tired. adioz.

when u gif dat to me, i'll gif even worse than dat, right back at ur faCE! nigga...

~mielaydee~

should i whisper?

2006-09-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

should i whisper or should i wail?

i seriously dun understand my situation now. im a confused n broken gurl i guess. bt dun wori, im always strong n standing. i wont fall. i will always find courage sumwhere out there 2 b my true self. guess i owe it all to all my frenz who r always there 4 me.

i realie realie need more doses of NCC. it will keep me goin on in life. i seriously realise how seriously i love NCC so much. b it politics or disagreements dat will happen in camps or events, i still love NCC. dats de spice in NCC dat keeps me goin. the politics n disagreements make me want to create peace more. find every single reason to tink dat its childish to show ur ego. c'mon la. everyone is still human. we r all de same. character isnt based on the group of ppl u r from. its u urself dat makes de difference. i dun see a reason in disliking each other for juz sum reasons. we shld love each other. haha. spread the love ppl!!!

i love my frenz. i reali do. i will enjoy every single moment with them. dats a promise! n i love n miss goin home from work wif Eliana. haha. i miss her funny laughter which nvr fails 2 make me laugh. i miss Hairini's critismS. the way we critic each other. haha. n the way we show each other we actualie care. i miss u gurlfren. i wanna go shoppin wif u. i miss holding hands wif u. ;)

i miss Asyafaah youth. the youth is so quiet now. well, de fasting mth is getting nearer. cant wait 2 meet kak lala, kak noi n family... spending time to break fast at Annur... gettin excited.

while posting this out, i recieved an sms from Elfi. n i guess i needed it. it was so sweet of Elfi... yeap, i guess wadever it is, Allah will always b de one who makes me smile, grant me health n wealth n all the love i can ever get. thkx Elfi. i love u boi.

i guess Allah misses me. its been a long time since i was close to Allah. i onli tink abt de world. bt i shld b grateful for the life n breath he gives me. i shld b happy dat forever, when de world hates me, i still got Allah by my side. yea. even if i dun get real love, i get it from the All-Mighty.

haha. at work juz now, tho it was so busy, Sup Ely n me were fooling arnd. its fun bein frenz wif her. she's damn nice. she asked me 2 write on de paper to Hafiz this :

"who do u want?
a.Ely
or
b.Mai

circle ur answer."

n i passed it to Sonia to pass to Hafiz. n guess wad de reply was?

BOTH =)

haha.

advice of de day : flirting keeps u healthy.

take care n adioz ppl!

~mielaydee~

east coast

2006-09-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

work was damn tiring. non-stop hits from de call master. siaooZ.

knocked off later than supposed to. then went on to ECP to meet dil. had fun i guess tho i was tired. then i went off earlier. pics will say a thousand words. will upload soon.

~mielaydee~

you you you

2006-09-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

you,

we had connection, n i guess we still do.
u had a feeling u will see me. n u did strait away.
i guess our connection can never break.
i guess we can b back 2gether again... (:

you,

so sweet, nice n thoughtful...
u open up a chance...

you,

make me feel happy n angry at the same time...
bt i still long 4 u...

~mielaydee~

eye bags

2006-09-14T10:55:00.000+08:00

woke up early by an early sms. couldnt go back 2 sleep after dat. im so tired n letarghic man... cant take it. i need sleep. wif no disturbance.! please.

im still tinkin. shld i or shldnt i? or shld i juz leave it as it is?

wads up wif monkey n snake?

haiiya. stop it la. sumbody rescue monkey from snake can?

snake so evil.

~mielaydee~

tiring dayyy

2006-09-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

most girls want a man wif the ching ching
but i want a man wif the mean green
i juz want real love...

most girls want a man wif de ching ching
don wanna dance if u cant b
everythin dat i dream of,
a man dat undastands real love

im still confused. im confused. its veri confusing n funny. bt hey, it was sweet. the video was sweet. haha.

veri tired man. so damn tired these few days. i miss bein around MCG ppl. Andayu ppl. i prefer Andayu then CSC. haha. duh~!

i miss u...

~mielaydee~

forbidden siren

2006-09-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

watched forbidden siren on mon. went out wif PS to visit dya in nuh on tue. n im tired now. blog again soon. bye.

i want those slipperS!

~mielaydee~

flat hair, rainy day

2006-09-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

i need sleep. bt when i reach home, i always end up doin sumtin else. gosh.

anyway, i look chubbier now. since my hair is flat. cant wait 4 2mr. gonna go outz wif frenz at last. gonna enjoy walking around then. bt still tinking wad 2 do. mayb catch a movie? i dunoe...

i miss everyone in Pusaka Seni. haiiz.

gonna b more active in NCC i guess. bcoz after SSC... i realise how much i loved NCC. n the love rekindled again.

but no, my love wont rekindle 4 u ever again. u hurt me so much.

off to work soon. starting at 5pm. cant i dun work bt still get paid? pls.... haha. everybody will start slapping my face soon i guess. haha. stop bein nonsensical mai!

~mielaydee~

finished SSC

2006-09-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

i juz finished SSC. wow. it was a real thrill 2 me. as in, it reali brought me back down to earth, made me 4get my probs n reali made me b on de job. a great distraction. bt sumhow, it made ties of relationship 2 b patched, made n too bad, one to b broken.

haha... smsed too much last nite. n sum ppl juz got no shame n gave me bdae reminder 22 days b4 his bdae. haha. n force me 4 a present. wad de heckS. amir hamzah gilaa.

gosh, now i feel like eating alot. bt i guess i will cut down 2mr. bcoz i juz miss real food. camp food juz suckz la. its nothing compared to food outside n esp mummy's cooking. haha.

went out wif ammarah, hafiz, jeremy, eugene, jin chuan n DAVEN (at last, lao jiao) to causewaypt for food n then went Metro n John lil to hunt 4 JC's n Eugene's formal wear. while after dat i bought 2 bottoms from Zone. b4 dat took a look at havanas, source n overland sandals... i dun tink i need sandals 4 now. can buy next time ah.

off for some more munchy session, tv n sleeeeeeep!

juz got paid... wednesday nite... boooty shaking... im enjoying it... hahaha.

black black eye bags under my eyes...

2006-09-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

its been a few days since i blog. was it? haha. ok, im now in camp. i wanted to blog yest nite bt was too sleepy n fell asleep. 2dae still sleepy n tired. worst, stressed up.

a big responsibility held by me. bt i haf 2 take it... haha. a PC...

im so tired n i miss school. i miss my fren, i miss goin out n spending money... i wanna shop shop n shop till i drop...

i miss us...

~mielaydee~

black black eye bags under my eyes...

2006-09-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

me n you

2006-09-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

im addicted to the song me n u. haha. duno y de hell.

n 4 de ppl commenting abt my green eyes... thkx eh. haha! well, juz look into the green eyes, u will find de sorrow dat she had been thru n is goin thru. n look at her smile... it actualie shows how happy she used to be. bt her smiles now are all deceptive.

ok... gonna b a busy week this week. gonna b 'outstationed' haha. camp la. dun miss me ok? wuhahaha. n i haf sum great plans 2 do at nite. SSC, here i come. cant wait 4 de late nites, scoldings... trainings n de hot sun. haha. de sweaty no.4... i miss NCC. haiiz.

n to ppl... stop worrying abt me. im fine. im still alive. k? im not dead yet... haha. (:

waiting 4 khairul to get back from OBS... lol. i hope he is fine. wondering wad he is goin thru now... i will pray 4 his safety.

~mielaydee~

dunoe wads next

2006-09-02T12:13:00.000+08:00

k, im bored wif nutin to do b4 work. work is at 5pm. n im meeting a fren at 2pm. bt i dunoe how the day will go so...

i havent even decided whether i wanna meet my fren. kind of lazy 2 go out earlier. got no mood to eat, no mood to do anytin. i need 2 do sumtin 2 cheer myself up like i used to last time. i guess i dun haf enuff injections of ncc anymore. i need ncc 2 pick myself up man. dat is where my anger, problems is lost n i find joy. i miss ncc. cant wait senior spec course. n nobody will stop me from goin 4 it... n i will accompany dear ammarah. dun wori syg....

currently in a state of confusion too. duno wad to do wif my life. it seems like poly life is boring after all. i guess its due to too much freedom. its like by the time a few months past by, u haf olready done everytin legal dat u ever could. of coz, except for clubbing n driving. now, come to tink of it, i duno whether i want to step into a club when im able to. haha.

read in the malay papers recently abt this gurl. in m'sia. this gurl n 4 other guys met in a fatal accident. de driver is in coma n all de rest passed away. n the gurl's mum was actualie the security guard of de hospital dat her fren was rushed in to. to top things up... she actualie ran away from home a week b4 de accident. imagine how devastated her mum is!!! after knowing her daughter ran away from home, a week later, u noe she's gone forever.... never make ur mum cry...

coincidentally, last nite while i was brushing my teeth b4 sleep, i was thinking wad would happen if i were to commit suicide n jump down from let's say... 9th floor. bcoz after hearing taufiq's story abt his fren who did n still survived, it kept me thinking...

i dun tink i wil survive... n knowing myself... i will even b very afraid to fall from the 9th floor. bt mayb i will? n if i do.. i imagined myself feeling de impact of falling... hearing de cries of my mum "how could u ever do such a thing?" getting the wrath from ALLAH for commiting suicide... a BIG sin. n so, i revert back 2 reality n cross out dat thought from my mind.

so i started thinking of wad's next. dat i could do...

~mielaydee~

my plans...

2006-09-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

haha. realised i havent been blogging 4 de past few days. haha.

ok, i have been working, n i went for nad's chalet... went thru hardships wif my gurlfrens by my side. thks gurls n darlings... i love u. n thkx 4 listening taufiq... haha. tho u gila n always like 2 kacau me... make me merajok. tkper. kau kan mat m'sia dokz. bluek.

k, work was fun bcoz there was taufiq, muzz n elly. taufiq kept on disturbing me. n muzz kept on disturbing me from across the room. playing shooting. haha. makin funny faces... haha. n taufiq keep on beating me. pinching me. mcm bdak kecik, dun wan fren me lar... haha. gila...

k then went for break wif uncle samie, shera n muzz. ate chicken rice. muzz was sleepy n went off home, shera went 2 de lib during our break, me n uncle sami went to the lounge room to relax abit. then went in at 5pm...

went home a lil after 9pm... so tired... starting life afresh from todayy... haha.

im tryin 2 keep my promise to kak sonia... i'll try 2 not talk 2 dat selfish bugger jerk ok? (:

~mielaydee~

wads de next step?

2006-08-29T19:18:00.000+08:00

exams r over. wads de next step?

i got work. bt wad else?

im bored.

im tryin 2 feel happier 4 myself. when im happy, i will tink of alot of activities 2 do n i feel calm all de time. yea. so, smile mai.

but im gettin sick. i dun haf enuff sleep n rest.nor do i haf peace when im awake. i haf nitemares. n will wake up at every hour in a jolt. wads happening 2 my bodY?

nvm, smile n b myself. yes, thkx wanie. u reminded me, be myself. bcoz ppl love me when im myself. de happy cheery mai. yea.

~mielaydee~

strong n patient.

2006-08-29T13:39:00.000+08:00

i haf to stay strong n patient.

no matter what, i haf to b ready 2 face the facts...

i hope i can face it together wif u...

bt its not possible then...

its ok, i dont blame u.

i onli haf myself to blame...

~mielaydee~

all my fault

2006-08-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

can sumone take a knife... kill me? end my life. my life is full of guilt n mistakes...

its all my fault. im so stoopid... its all my fault...

juz leave me...

hate me...

i wanna kill myself...

~mielaydee~

hating it

2006-08-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

im so so hating this. i cant take it anymore. seeing those words... so familiar... bt from a diff source. damn.

m so hating it... juz bcoz it's BIG, it can accuse me. get a lyf! i dun need it!!!

im havin a large headache now. n feelin very vexed. i need sleep. bt i cant sleep. too much to tink of. when can i ever get peace in my mind? its as if 24 hrs my brain is thinkin n my heart is reacting to every thought. i need peace n space. can i go back to when i was young? free n easy? or better, can i ever change my life situation?

no, no. dats not possible. its not like in de movies. or like in de story CLICK where he got the universal controller. GOD is testing me. i noe i haf 2 accept it. bt sorry, i gotta complain. i need enlightenment...

i noe, the best solution now to me obviously is.... suicide. bt no no. its a no no. bt its so tempting.
im so tempted to juz end my lyf. bt no no. gosh gosh. all im blogging abt is all the thoughts dat r racing thru my mind... gosh. salvation?

im so sleepy. kill me in my sleep then.

~mielaydee~

y m i always stuck in any situation?

2006-08-27T01:28:00.000+08:00

y m i always stuck in any situation? im like forever falling in holes deeper n deeper n no matter where i go, im always lost n stuck n can nvr find a way out?

y is my fate this way? always in a lot of big problems wif no way out? gosh i cant this life anymore! its so damn blardyyy hard. y must he do this to me? can he live in this modern world? i juz dun understand him!!! yes i agree n admit dat sum of de thgs i do r wrong... bt most r not. so y cant i do it????

gosh... im so confused, lost n stuck dat i reali feel like goin sumwhere n juz b alone till i rot n die. pls, push me away from this world!!!

~mielaydee~

i miss...u

2006-08-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

i miss u...

i miss u...

i miss u...

y does my heart miss u...?

y does my heart yearn for u...?

y does my heart beat for u...?

i miss u...

~mielaydee~

a walk around town

2006-08-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

after abt i duno 4 ages... i finally stepped my foot at town 4 window shopping purposes... haha!

ok, woke up early this morning, went to the sch library to study 4 computing maths. which in de end i failed since, it is too late n no info abt maths could b digested n understood in my brain...n so i gave up. met yan n maliki in de lib, thereafter they went to mac while i proceeded to north canteen to meet hairini.

along the way, met wif aniza n we talked 4 awhile b4 she left me to go to town!!! yelah, da abes exams per... k then met hairini, had lunch n then went 4 de exam. haha. as expected, i didnt do well la. duh~

then thereafter i proceeded to the mrt stn. thinkin of goin 2 work. then met shahrul. he was wating 4 fadhil to go out. so i said bye. went to the platform. then met khai n aameer! haha. then they said they were waiting 4 elfi to go out. so i decided to follow them. turned out, aamer n khai were waiting 4 fadhil, elfi n shahrul to go out. so i followed them to.... TOWN.

went to this hardcore camper/outdoorS shop. wow. it was so full of camping gear, mountaineering gears, hiking gear n so on. then while waiting 4 khai to get wad he wanted, fadhil n shahrul bought choc. haha. me n aameer took sum. well, aameer ate most of my part dat i stole from shahrul. lucky didnt eat of my fingers skali. i tot he would bite sum part bt in de end he ate up all! so took another bar from shahrul n in de end i ate a lil onli. haha.

then they all went to bras basah market. look thru instrument shops. haha. elfi n me started bullshitting abt makin a band. n elfi purposely tryin 2 make shahrul angry by sayin he duno where 2 put shahrul, mayb back up drummer. haha! mai n elf de vocalist. khai n meer on strings n dhil on drums. hahaha!

then they all went to eat at this halal chinese restaurant. i didnt eat since i was still full from north's food. so juz had a drink. haha. n the glutton aameer sat in front of me n ate ever so gluttonly... hahaha. ate chicken rice... haha.

thereafter i left for work. n came late. act blur n juz clocked in. hahaha. then met this new agent named taufiq. haha. (taufik batisah lah konon) haha. he was frenly la. a new found fren...

ok, so i wrap up today's entry... haha!

~mielaydee~

i dont need a guy

2006-08-23T14:46:00.000+08:00

i dont think i will ever need a guy in my life.

coz i tink it doesnt matter. wif or wifout a guy... it is still de same. i duno y im thinkin of this at this moment. when im actualie revising in the sch's library... haha! bt it juz came across my mind. i realised i dun need a guy 2 tell me he loves me. bt i need a fren to tell me they love me n need me by their side. n i miss shafina, nadiah n hairini the most...

i miss sharifah aka sarah. i miss rodhiah!!! where r u my lovely gurl? i miss u so. i miss cupcake, saleha... where haf u gone? its been 2 yrs since u last contact me!!! i miss raihan of S6, my air syndicate mate. where haf u gone too? i miss u nurul of assyafaah mosque. hw r u wif ur teaching job? i miss sulaiha of S6, my west syndicate mate. i miss u my gurlfrenz!!!

i miss ilan too. i miss brandon. i miss saiful. i miss roy. i miss syafiq. i miss mohnish. i miss danial. i miss irsyad. i miss khairul anwar. i miss fazdli. i miss u, fayyadh my fren. i miss ashri. k, i miss kholid 4 wadever god noes wad. i miss u too idris. i miss ahmad syafiq prev from riverside. now in which ite i duno. i miss u amir hamzah. n i miss u, hazhim. i miss u my guy frenz!!!

come to think of it, i haf less close gurlfrenz since onli a special few stuck wimme thru my bad n great times... thks gurls. as for the guys, u guys r always in my mind. thkx 4 de frenship n great memories.

i duno y im thinkin of u people de most now at de eve of my exams. bt i juz miss u people.

i can live on my own.

i can work my arse 4 myself.

i can feed myself.

i can make myself happy.

i can smile wif my frenz.

i dun need a guy...

all i need r my frenz...

love ones forever in my life...

i need u loved ones... so stay by my side... thkx...

love u guys!

~mielaydee~

broken...

2006-08-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

my heart is broken into pieces. to pieces dat can never be put back together again. juz like when humpty dumpty fell...

pieces of me. broken... scattered everywhere... people stepping on it... him stepping on it... her stepping on it...

laughing away... enjoying their happy moments wifout realising dat they are always stepping on peices of me... killing me softly... slowly... painfully...

the paper juz now was ok. i could do it. bt a lil cock up here n there as usual...i miss me. i miss mai. i miss maizatul. i miss the fun-loving, bubbly, happy go lucky mai...

killing me softly with his words...

~mielaydee~

screaaaaam

2006-08-21T19:38:00.000+08:00

*screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamssss....*

my first time taking of a poly exam. i duno y bt im scared. haha. tho i did take a paper oready. bt it was in de lecture theatre n it was kind of easyy. bt... 2mr , de day after n de day after after is gonna b core modules... oh myyy. im afraid..

worked in de morning 2day. was quite bored. coz very few calls. haha. was bored. started bcome crazyy. talked to a new found fren aunt doris. haha. very cute la. coz she told me a pain bt funny story.

last week, she was on a bus, a very crowded bus. then suddenly the bus driver pressed on de brakes n then this plump, philipino girl fell n sat on de left leg... n she went n screamed "ooowwww"! haha. funny right? bt thereafter she started to feel pain on de left leg n her right leg started to feel the same too. kesian dia... pity her...

then wad did i do?? hmm. oh yah. went to eat at fork n spoon after work. chicken rice. played puzzle bubble n won many times. wooohhoo. sore loser!!! haha. then walked home. then slept 4 a while then woke up n bathed n studied sum notes. hmm. im still feeling scared.

oh wells. gd luck 2 me.

~mielaydee~

this can't be right

2006-08-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

Who am i

yo who am i,
nayla boss,
i keep it tight guess we got the raghav on the mike
gimme the light, against the flame,

i know i shudnt but i got to see you tonight
i pick you up around nine,
but i swear that this can't happen no more,
cos when im looking in my babies eyes
i can't bare to tell her more lies
i gotta be stronger now then i was before

but when u hold me girl its so real
im feeling things 4 u i can't feel
i noe i shouldn't stay but girl i just can't leave

this can't b right but it doesn't feel so wrong
but when i'm all alone,im thinking of you but i'm with her
this can't be right that its you thats on my mind (my mind)
but she's still in my life (yo)
but your the one thats stands by my side

i wanna let go but there's something that makes me hold on (tell em)
but baby this just can't go on,
and we're better off with nobody knows
i never forget we would of lasted so long
so perfect but girl its so wrong
cos i got some body waiting at home

but when you hold me girl its so real
im feeling things for you i can't feel
i know i shudn't stay but girl i just can't leave

this can't be right but it doesn't feel so wrong (so wrong)
but when im all alone (all alone)
im thinkin of you but i'm with her
this can't be right that its you that's on my mind but she's still in my life (my life)
but your the one that stands by my side

who-a blast er blasts who blasts you
its got a concicense like ooo
im gonna get mine you know i don't really care
but i got a soft spot for your girl right there
hate to be the mistress aint tryin to be the wife
got a hubby here so we gotta keep it tight
keep it on the hush on the low or woteva
aint no competition i could tell her to do better

girl you know i can't, there's to much to lose
its you that i want but, put yourslef in her shoes
it hurts to think if she only knew
what'd be on her mind, what she'd be going throughhhhhh

this cant b right but it doesnt feel so wrong
but when i'm all alone im thinkin of you but i'm with her
this can't be right that its you that's on my mind
but she still in my life but your the one that stands by my side

p.s. i love this song. this can't be right by 2play feat raghav n nayla boss

~mielaydee~

im down

2006-08-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

im down, utterly down.

try to make me smile, i will, insincerely...

try to make me laugh, i will, with no humour...

im down, totalli down. i dunno wad im gonna do ryt now. im juz confused n indecisive...
mylife is leading me to no specific strait direction...

is it a yes or a no?

or is it true or false?

n im starting 2 hear voices in my head... voices of customers asking 4 a pan hawaiian pizza. since i had so many hawaiian lover's order today...

sweet??? wordS?

~mielaydee~

horrible creature...

2006-08-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

gosh. i was on the way home in the train sitting down. n i saw my horrible reflection at de opp window. it was so horrible! i looked horrible. wif solemn face n hollow eyes like there was no life for me... dark circles under my eyes... horrible... purely horrible. i looked so tired, wif no life n my face was angry. plain angry. i was close to tears. lucikly it didnt burst out dat much. since i was in de train...

i love my new job. i love it. haha. n emman, a junior from my sec sch is workin at de same place! met him 2dae. we were both shocked to see each other... haha

~mielaydee~

tired

2006-08-17T19:52:00.000+08:00

im so tired. hahaha.

bt i love working.

ok.

~mielaydee~

love kfc love pizza hut.

2006-08-16T19:13:00.000+08:00

atlast im touching my husband after 2 days of missing him. poor him, he waits 4 me... yearning 4 my touch. resting on the floor 4 2 days... sorry dear, work disallow me to touch u. to type u... hehe. oh my hubbie lappy.

the job was great. we reali went on de real job juz now. its so fun. hehe. n u get cute customers. esp when its the opening, they juz woke up... the voice so soft n sleepy. heehee.

im so lethargic. oh wells.

happy mugging ppl. n oh, y cant we b frenz?

lost

2006-08-15T09:04:00.000+08:00

woah. its already tuesday now. hmmms. i woke up feeling bored wid nuthin 2 do. bt im still sleepy. onli dat i cant sleep continously. i can wake up n sleep again. bt nt sleep all da way.

anway, yest had the trg 4 my new job. it was quite fun, boring oso, challenging oso. bt most imptly, it was damn cold there! haha. i was shivering cold. luckily met sonia n sonia showed us where the rented jackets are at. whoohoo. thkx sonia. she's so sweet la. no matter wad elfi sayS! bluek.

gonna haf trg again 2day bt evening shift. yest was morning. 2dae is evening at 6. gonna go out earlier coz its too boring to stay at home. mayb to sch n study abit or wad... then i tink the 3rd trg day is 2mr... n we gonna pair up wif a senior n learn from them how 2 do de job. ahaha. cant wait 4 de practical. de theory is quite boring if u r doin it on an empty stomach. haha!

then after work yest, i went to the MCG room onli 2 find hairi n khai singing so badly wif this mic n amplifier which i dunoe who they stole from. no wonder it was raining yesT! haha. bt cute la. coz they kept on disturbing shahrul abt haz. singing one song after another. as in after one line, another line. not even half a song! haha.

then dcided to go home bt then i went down wdls. tot of goin to my aunt's home at commonwealth coz my mum's there. bt when i called at 5pm, she said no need come, she's gonna go home soon. bt then, in de end, she reached home at 9pm. mite as well i go there siiiaaaa. haiyaa. coz i miss my aunt n uncle. not my notti cousin, abg erzan. bluek.

walked arnd de bazaar. met sum old frenz. then walked to my old workplace n met my ex colleague. since she was abt to knock off, we went off together. after chit chatting wif sum of the people too.took de bus. talked to a stranger. reached home. felt angry. n angry n angry.

then talked on de phone. then slept. woke up. talked on de phone again. slept. woke up again. then slept then finally woke up now.haiiyaz.

letting go is never easy. esp when its already too deep

~mielaydee~

PS 2 n a lousy soccer match

2006-08-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

ok, so i woke up wif a big big headache on sunday morning. bt still, i woke up n was determined to go to my religious class. to make up for alot of loopholes i made. n so went off for my religious class. late. bt hey, my teacher havent started yet. n so first subject. n the teacher was a relief teacher since my form teacher had juz given birth. n the relief teacher spoke like the MRT. ok, then b4 she moved on to the next subject, she suddenly kept quiet n read the book herself. so, i laid my head on my bag n fell asleep.

awoken juz when she wanted to start the next subject. ok n then after finishing the topic for dat subject, she fell silent again. n we r all waiting 4 her to let us go 4 recess. she let us out late. while waiting, i took out my hp n listened to the mp3. n i fell asleep sitting down on my chair! haha. n so, realising, i then changed position n laid my head on my bag.n when i woke up, i realise the room was empty! @#%%#! haha

ok then next teacher was the fun teacher. i nvr sleep during her class. i like the way she teaches. haha. n she's very caring. while asking us to do our work, she can even chat wimme abt where i bought my watch n all other stuffs ah. nt the first time tho. ok then ended sch, waited 4 mum to finish her lecture at the same mosque n then followed her to go buy sum stuff n went home.

oh ya, in de afternoon i watched the lousiest soccer match i haf ever seen in my life before ah. losing not the main thing. bt the strategy n the way the match was played was quite bad la. hissshhh...

change back, change

~mielaydee~

the nite at afiq's...

2006-08-13T14:02:00.000+08:00

im such in a happy mood now. becoz i fell asleep feeling happy tho tired this morning. haha. k, let me update u readers.

spent the whole morning at home helpin mum n all. then i took my own sweet time getting ready 2 afiq's house. onli to find out dat the BONS n ham r meeting at 5pm. n yan n hairi r reachin at 5.30pm. so, nvm since BONS cant wait, i agreed to meet yan n hairi instead. nk rokok jgk. bluek. haha. k, so, in de end i was still damn late ah. n they reached damn earlier than i expected. 5.20pm. i juz went out of de shower by then! so, i met them at wdls at 5.50pm. i noe i noe, im sori im late.

rushed to afiq's place. BONS, ham n sum tarian gurls were already there. n marni of coz. they were karaoke-ing. so i joined in. quite fun ahh. damn nice. then, watched s'pore idol while eating 4 awhile. watched de production video... then karaoke abit n at least doa selamat 4 aishax... wow... im so envious of her!!! she's so lucky to get in SPF. wow... best of luck 2 her... gd luck aishax!

then went off from afiq's home wif BONS, ham, haz, yan n An kecik. then suddenly all of them dun wanna go home n wanted to lepak. idea 4 a place, had to b wdls. since yan bought standard ticket to wdls. ok so, we all tot of goin sumwhere in wdls to take pics. haz was sooo up n enthu!! hehe. she's so sweet la.. i like her alot. An kecik n i juz click well. haha. wif the "king" n de "diam la". haha. "pondan la kau! diam la!" n so we walked n decided on this park in front of CP. ok so, we took damn lots of pics wif so many diff poses! haha. damn fun.

pity yan who was so sleepy bt yet, were forced by us nt to go home yet. n so, in de end he went off first n i sent him to the interchanged la... bt then, too bad. all his buses are gone n he got no bus home. haha. n i felt bad. damn bad. bt come to think of it now, quite funny ah bcoz we had too much fun takin pics till we 4got to think abt de bus time. so, in de end, we met again wif de BONS n ham. haz went home first in a taxi. then we sent off yan for a taxi n i took taxi home too since i was damn tired. haha. reached home at 12 plus. bathed n then slept. n woke up at 6 plus for my religious class. n now, im tired. haha. n sleepy. bt im happy. spending time wif the BONS n ham last nite. i miss the BONS. hehe. n i miss camwhoring in a group!!! mwaaah! love u guys!!!

p.s: BONS means Brothers Of North

~mielaydee~

still tired

2006-08-11T18:37:00.000+08:00

gosh, im still tired 2day. gonna haf silat trg 2mr morning... but i dunoe whether to go onot... still deciding... gonna haf dinner at afiq's place in de evening 2mr... will b tiring... im olready so tired. n i guess i dun haf much mood nowadays...

went for a job interview wif elly at toa payoh juz now. n we got it! yeayy! thkx 2 elfi. thkx elf!!! thkx alot. haiiz. i miss khai, my fren. i miss talkin to him. i miss spending time wif him. i miss khai. i miss pusaka seni. i miss everyone in my life. esp myself. i miss myself before i went in poly.

im confused abt myself. im juz not myself anymore. i realise i haf changed. bt i cant find my old self. i duno y i cant. i need sumone to rescue me. but... i guess i onli haf myself to b rescued... onli god can help me now. i hope my days will b better soon. bcoz i cant take it living in a life where im unhappy n always wifout mood. i guess i chose my path wrongly. right from de time my parents went for umrah. n esp recently...

i may look so strong n happy outside... bt im so fragile inside now. im breaking down every second of my life. im crying every time... im bleeding all this while... yes i am bleeding... onli i myself noe how i m inside. no life in me anymore... wads happening to me??? no one can explain to me till i find the answer myself...

~mielaydee~

blog revamp!

2006-08-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

oryte, so, i changed my blog skin!!! jeng jeng jeng!!! taadaaa! ok, so i tink i love this skin alot. since it is an ADIDAS skin. i love Adidas. its my fav brand.

ok, so i duno y, bt im tired again. tho i slept 4 a loooong time in the MCG room this afternoon. im still very sleepy n tired. ok then. adios ppl.

~mielaydee~

i dunoe

2006-08-10T07:25:00.000+08:00

k, i dunoe y im blogging early in de morning, i tink i juz haf de feeling to blog.haha. duno y.

k,k. im getting confused every single second. or split seconds. worst. haha. haiz. n i didnt manage to go 4 de haircut since mummy made me go home b4 7pm but i still reached arnd 20mins late. hehe. n azmi asked me out too which i couldnt make it. sorry azmi. mummy spoilt it all. bt its ok. it was nice staying at home at nite. haha.

k, how m i suppose to plan the events for my day 2day? im confused. hmmm. yamaha? honda? smrt?

~mielaydee~

dead duck

2006-08-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

gosh. im tired. again. k, im always complaining im tired. n yes, i am tired!!! haha. n today is a holidayy. i get to slack. but, i still wanna go out. drop by at my grandma's hse n then to yishun to haf a hair cut i guess. shld i? haha. still deciding. i miss my cute fringe. sumone said i look sweeter wif curly hair. veri unique bt maggi. haha. nvm, i prefer strait fringe. not messy.

had my last presentation for the semester yesterday. wasnt very happy wif it. bt all is done. wad else can i say? kill myself? not worth it ah. coz i dun wanna die a virgin. let me get married first 4 an hour, then i will kill myself aite? haha. after dat went to esplanade. the plan was to find sumone. i was on a mission. but damn, there were so many people dat i almost cried giving up searching 4 him. lucky there were my 2 brothers there 4 me. tellin me dat if he ever realli wanted to meet me, he shld gif me a specific location. true enuff. ok, so since it was too crowded, we couldnt find our other frenz. so we juz had to wait 4 the fireworks display. it was so beautiful. i recorded a lil part of it. it lasted 4 10mins.

after it ended, the place was covered up in thick smoke... imagine... the amount of gunpowder they used juz 4 10 mins of fireworks display!? ok, so since there sooo many people, too crowded, we ended up holding each other, fearing we lose each other. i noe i lack altitude. dats y. haha. at de bridge, we were like grinding each other man.! gosh. it was disgusting mann. i hateeee hateeee to brush wif people!!! no matter i noe them or not, i hateee hatee hatteeee to brush. esp when u r sweating! yuckky. bt it was a nice experience 4 me.

i remembered a year ago, being attached on the day of 8aug... went to marina since they had the exhibitions n all. went to lau pasat to eat... n gosh, i wore the same outer top. lucky onli the outer top la. bt then again, im a whole new person now. i was different last year. n last nite, i went, being single... haiiz. i miss being attached. k, i miss him. i guess... oh well, anyway its not the time yet. n it was fated i didnt manage to find him last nite...

ohk, so today will b a boring day 4 me. nvm, i tink i will go 4 dat haircut. weeheee!

aku gila, im crazy, wo siao char bo

~mielaydee~

ku sedar...

2006-08-06T19:39:00.000+08:00

gosh, im so tired today. one whole week of no rest! everyday r late nite days... sat is packed. sunday too. gosh gosh. woke up at 7 this morning. washed up n all. went over to shahidah's house since hers is so near mine n then we can go together to the wedding place.

reached there, ate abit then started our work to give out the door gifts. so tired the whole day. bt njoyed myself. will upload pics asap when shahidah passes it to me. oh ya, liyana, eliana, shahidah n me were there. wawa n kak faezah were there too. since it was wawa's cousin's wedding. wawa, fyza, kak faezah n one other gurl danced for the wedding. was unexpected to meet kak faezah there itself. didnt noe she still danced for cheng san...

haiiz. ku sedar siapa diriku di sisimu...

~mielaydee~

tak ada logika

2006-08-05T14:01:00.000+08:00

this life has no logic... i oso dunoe y i tink so. im juz confused now. haha. haiz...

i wish i could get my life back. my old mai back. the cheerful happy go lucky mai back. i want my life back. god, pls gif my life back... please... i beg u...

lies, lies and more lies. going deeper, nearing the grave...

~mielaydee~

mai in tarian?

2006-08-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

went for tarian trg yest. wow. it was so tiring but yet fun n great to do.it felt great down there dancing. challenged mentally n physically. hehe. great man. thkx wawa 4 giving me a chance. so most prolly, im gonna stay. thkx 2 all who encouraged me to join tarian like dya, eli, nana n bedah. thkx u all 4 guiding me yest n to mas, fiza n shaf 4 helping. haiyah, thkx 2 all the gurls lah! haha.

i feel damn tired today. gosh. woke up late 7.30am this morning bt i was suppose 2 meet my fren 8am at yishun. haha. but in de end my fren was de late one. then we walked over to our fren's home. ate, drank and played PS2. hehe. i lost badly. bt nvm. i long time nvr play game mahhh... haha. then went back 2 sch n now havin e-tutorial doing nothing. oh ya, i got C for my ICA for 1209. one of my core modules. a html website module. its 50% n another 50% comes from my written paper. C!!! not bad 4 a stupid gerl like me who nvr studies. haha! lol. im stupid... hehehe.

~mielaydee~

dull

2006-08-02T10:23:00.000+08:00

dull. life is dull. since exams round the corner. less of goin to school. n im so damn sleepy now. waiting 4 the other grp members to reach the library. god, i need sleep man.. i reali do!!! been too many projects to finish up. stress n depression arnd de corner.

who said jc n poly had difference? its no difference altogether. haha! im so tired. n scared to face my first poly semestral exam... onli god can help me in maths n java man... haiiz.

went 4 drama trg last nite. it was great. i missed doin drama trgs as a family of Pusaka Seni. i miss all of u. n i love all of u. mwaah mwaah mwaah. hehe.

~mielaydee~

2 schools in my heart

2006-07-29T13:36:00.000+08:00

Semakin hari aku rasalah
Kita macam makin serasi
Kau rasa tak?

Semakin hari semakin serasi
Bagai pagi dengan sinar matahari
Bagai malam dengan kerdipan bintang yang berseri

Terlintas saja hati belum ku luahkan
Kau dah pun tahu bagai tiada lagi rahsia
Antara diri kita berdua

Semakin hari semakin serasi
Bagai gelora dan laut air dan tasik
Tak dicemari bagai puncak dan lembah lereng dan titi

Terguris saja hati belum ku tangis ku
Dah kau belai seperti sakit ku ini
Kau yang terasa jiwa kita serupa

Kita bagai satu permata
Terbelah bercantum semula
Hingga langsung tiada terlihat garisnya
Pemisah halus rambut dibelah halus

Kita bagai satu jiwa
Yang bercerai terpatri kembali
Hingga langsung tiada terlihat lainnya
Di dalam hanya ada kekasih hati

Kekasih hati ku

life in family has been no difference. still the same. no progress. haiz... school's been stressed but im trying 2 cope. n i tink i will... hmms. this weekend is the busiest weekend of all. stayed at sch till dikir finished yest nite. watched miss congeniality in the MCG room, then went 4 de gig 4 awhile. quite bored. then went to watch the guys doing dikir... haha. fun. then went to the gig again 4 awhile. then atlast went off.

went to my sec sch. reached there around 10 plus. was surprised ncc land was havin their passing out parade at the same time as us too. haha. then went out of the sch around 12 to 1 plus. talked n ate abit. came back, had a lil chat wif my CO, my sir, Mr Ong. its sad to hear he is gonna leave the unit soon since he will be very busy in school soon. may he succeed, be well, best wishes 4 him. now the unit is left hanging. how about us? hmm... (thinking...)

then had sum sparring session at the yishun pri basketball court wif tan n rahman. haha. muay thai vs silat. lol. ok ah. muay thai quite deadly compared to a newbie in silat. then atlast i surrender to de sleepin bag on the joined table and awoke after 3 hrs. rushed home, got my uniform ready, couldnt find my beret. wth. took taxi to aiss. found a beret (thk god). watched the parade... gd luck 4 de new batch. i'll always b here 4 u all aite. im juz a call or sms away hafiz n daryl... to the rest too of coz.

then now, im at NYP doin my project. haha. blogging first since still drawing out the layout. gosh, sumone is confused which sch im at rite now. "u got 2 schs. which sch u at?" hahaha!!! yalah, guess dat no matter wad, AISS will 4ever b my school tho im in NYP now. =)

im so shagged n sleepy now. 2mr need to go 4 my religious class in de morning. then to my ex-colleague's engagement n then to felicia's bdae party. gosh. then monday still coming down 4 the part A's IMT. dotz. exams round de corner!!!!!!! aRGGGGGghhhhhhhh!!!

~mielaydee~

bleed to death

2006-07-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

haf not been blogging daily. haf not been feeling well. haf not been having the mood. have not been having de smile. haf not been having de face. have not been having the time. haf not been everything...

im losing my sight
losing my mind
will somebody tell me im fine?

notins olrite
notins been fine
im dying n im crying...

p.s./my death note to u: slit my wrist n bleed me to death...

~mielaydee~

thkz 2 all

2006-07-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

thkx 2 all who have been there 4 me 4 evrytin. n elf, u open up my eyes n made me see all those who actualie reali care 4 me. i love u guys. i feel damn lucky 2 b loved by u guys. thkx. u guys cheered me up alot.

had been puking 3 times 2dae. i dunno wads wrong wimme. haiiz. n i dun wanna go to de doc. no way hozey. not my type 2 go to the docs.

~mielaydee~

stressed to the max.

2006-07-21T15:29:00.000+08:00

its been a nice week recently tho some loopholes here n there. the norm. nevermind the idiot who calls himself dot tagging. i didnt do anytin wrong yet u wanna bombard me. u must b one of the MCG members i tink. if u r then im seriously disappointed ah. coz i love everyone in MCG no matter wad ah. hmmz.

when u haf choices... its always difficult to make. always in dilemma n if me, i would like to let go n shut myself out from the world. sorri ah bt this is juz the way i am... haiz.

wif so many upcomin tests n projects... n emotional probs.. i hope god, ALLAH will help me go thru this... insyAllah...

~mielaydee_sMuFYiaN~

black n blue.

2006-07-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

am so tired today. damn shagged i duno y. mayb coz i dun haf enuff energy intake. as in my energy intake is less than my energy output. blahhh. wad shit i tokin. haha...

went 4 silat today.haha. trained up abit. abit onli ah. bt when i sweat.... fuhhh. feels so great mann. gonna haf many tests all these comin weeks in sch. n i havent even started revision. mayb abit ah. abit onli. haiz. i duno wads gonna happen 4 maths n marketing. haiz. onli god will help me lor. wuhahaha...

betara karisma's tun perak song is damn nice. i like it. sooo nice. verrryyy nice. haha. gd luck u guys. n to my 4 pesilat frenz, gd luck in de finals. fite fite fite! win win win! here we go!!! after silat went home wif yan, zul n nureen. went down yishun n took de bus. was reali damn tired n got no energy to walk a long distance from admiralty mrt stn as per usual.

had fun today. damn fun. haha. blue n black la ehh.

gonna haf many plans this fri n weekends. bt im shagged.

adios.

~mielaydee~

it's time.

2006-07-18T14:29:00.000+08:00

in the lab now. havin 10 mins break after a short 20MCQ test. quite easy i tink. MCQ ok ah. dun let me do open ended qns. confirm die. hahaha.

it has been a headache week. i dunoe y. haiz. life has been dull bt wif a lil color here n there. pocket money has been cut bt no big deal to me. coz i dun anymore. i dunoe. i lost appetite 4 food. eveytime i look at food i feel disgusted. i duno y. mayb its juz one of those times la.

anyway... to dya. we r juz frenz now. nothin more. juz like bro n sis. haha. dun worie gurl. anyway, thkx. luv u!

monday, yest, was ok. bt a very tired day. i felt damn shagged when i got home. din join elf n the rest 4 a movie coz if i were to, i would b home late by then. n get another scolding from dad again. so, sorie. haiz. nowadays i haf 2 try my best 2 gt home early. haiz. nvm la. tho i cant join in much wif many activities, bt atleast a lil bit will still spice up my life...

goin to Kluang this weekend wif the whole family 2 my mum's bro n oso sis home. my uncle n aunty coincidently live at the same town bt diff area. i tink i wanna stay wif my aunt coz my bestie guy cousin is there. so, we can haf time n njoy each other's company. yeay. i miss him. gonna bring my laptop too. n 2gether we can b the best hackers of the world. hehe. no la kidding. i hope we can do some vid clips of pics of us. yeayy. cant wait... =)

~mielaydee~

sweet sweet days comin

2006-07-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

hmm. din blog 4 2 days. ok. on fri... my laptop was bandung bathed. haha. then din on it 4 hours. but in the end it was ok.. thkx 4 askin darling kah weii. then after sch went to mit up wif abg an then we went to mcg room n soon after we all went home.

then on sat... i awoken at 11am. then helped mum wif breakfast. ate abit then bathed n got ready 2 go out. met up wif my fren at pasir ris n followed him 2 his fren's pit. haha. was quite fun ah tho mendak. haha. din stay long coz he din want me 2 get scolding from dad again. so he sent me off to the mrt stn. n i went home.

n 2day... so boring la ehh. got nothing to do. wuhahah.

~mielaydee~

Jubilant Concert

2006-07-14T13:13:00.000+08:00

heyys. went to watch my sec sch concert, Jubilant at Victoria Theatre last nite. the band performance was superb as usual!!! met hendra!!! haha. long time nvr see him. the choir has improved ah. well done guys!!! =) bt of coz, the choir alumni's performance outshined all ahh!!! damn best ah u all!!! 3 cheers 4 suhaizad, beeying, lina n... i duno his name. hehe. fly me to the moon!!! i love u! haha.

went wif hisyam, hairul n their frenz. quite nice la hanging out wif sec 1 peeps. juniors la katekan... once in a while we do haf to connect to our younger generation n see wads goin on ahh.

went home n got a scolding from dad. haiz... he said dat eventho if my studies r superb or good, he will nvr b happy 4 me ever. dia tk redha. haiiz. nvm laa. i shldnt gif up. i shld juz do my best. yangsi said i did a stupid thing. by nt goin home early or anytin. quite true ahh. so, now, im tryin to change ah. i wanna make my parents happy...

im evil but still, i love myself. n ur gd at breaking hearts. n im gd at dat too bt i myself dun wanna b hurt... can i make myself 4get u? coz it hurts loving u...

~mielaydee~

thkx guys.

2006-07-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

thkx khai...

thkx 4 all who were there 4 me juz now. it really meant alot to me. thkx. i love u guys.

to khai, thkz alot ah. tho sumtimes im reali angry n hurt by u n tink dat u r a jerk, i actualie love u alot ah. as a fren ah of coz. u r one of the frenz i will nvr ever forget ah, coz u n me haf been frenz since mcm forever ah.

to marni n sue, i love u two alot. u gurls r very gd sisters to me... when i needed a sister, u gurls are always there 4 me. n i reali appreciate u all. i love u.

to elfi, even tho i juz noe u, i reali love u alot ah. u r so patient wif my prangai n u r such a sweet fren ah. u r reali like my bro ah. how i wish u were reali my bro. i love u. thkx elf.

to aameer, thkx 4 bein my fren ah aameer. we juz recently got close since poly, n i reali treasure u ah. love u curly wurly...

to fadhil, u r juz like a fatherbto me. i love u lots lots ah. u r so matured n ur advises nvr stop processing in my mind. thkx papa!

to wir, u r like my mama, juz like fadhil, u r so motherlike. lub u! mwah

to ham, u r like a bestfren n kakak 2 me. i love u. mwah mwah.

im havin gastric

~mielaydee~

a life story

2006-07-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

as she walked out of the school gate,
she kept on thinkin of her new life.
the life beyond books.
the new freedom of life.

the new life she had.
was it worth it?
all the frenz she thought were there for her.
but tho she was around de people she called frenz,
she was still lonely.
she knew she never had a place in any of the people's hearts.

as she stepped in the train.
she stood at one side.
taking out her ear piece to listen to soothing songs,
to relax her mind.
she thought back on her life when she was 15.

it was hell for her.
knives were always on her back.
no hand was there around her.
all the hurting words went in her ears.
all shit dat she took.
never a rose was in her hands.

as she stared out of de window,
hot tears trickled down her cheeks.
this was my life, she thought.
n it still is. she screamed in her head.

all the way walking back home after the train ride,
she felt like fainting.
due to the stress she felt piling up,
result of all her bottled feelings.
then she decided,
she needed a painkiller.
a painkiller that will bring away her problems.

so she stopped by a playground.
took out a stick n lighted it up.
breathing in de minty n sweet taste,
she felt relieved.
all her problems in her head went away,
juz like the smoke out of her mouth n nostrils.

she took a walk around the playground.
she thought about wad happend juz 24 hrs b4.
she almost made her mum cry in front of her.
she knew she was wrong.
but she didnt haf any choice.
she had 2 lie to cover up a good thing she was doing.
but still, she couldnt take it dat she had 2 lie.
lies, n more lies everyday.
she knew, mayb, out of sight,
her mum was crying her heart out.
she didnt meant to do it.
but she juz cant find de right words n time to explain the whole thing.
she loves her mum very much.
who doesnt? (she thought)

lies n more lies. piling.
she juz cant take it anymore.
but she cant put it to words.
n now, sorry juz seem to be the hardest word.

a fiction story i made up myself. nice 2 read? if not, then nvm. my writing skills sucks. i noe. hahaz.

~mielaydee~

i screwed up today.

2006-07-09T19:39:00.000+08:00

oh gosh. im so god damn tired. production over, IVP begins. i helped out last nite n its was a damn great experience 4 me altho i screwed up so many times, embarassing myself.

anyway, all was a success for the production. everytin went great ah... the backstage moving of things from scene to scene... the intro, paluan, dikir, tarian n masq!!! but of coz, nothing beats de performance of de 5 main cast ah. in backstage, hearing their voices, assuming their actings n de reaction from audiences, plus feedbacks from audiences... i guessed it was de best out of the best Pusaka Seni's performance. Congrats to kakak, abang, fadhil, Mami n fren. n of coz congrats to the directors for their hardwork. n thks to ida, we haf a cute pondok. heehee. mcm amben kat kampong.

hmmm. i screwed up real bad 2day. shit shit shit. im sorry

kakak, i love u.
abang, i love u.
frenz, i love u.
mates, i love u.
Pusaka Seni, i love u.
NYP Silat, i love u.
Drama, i love u.
Silat, i love u.
Seni, i love u.
NCC, i love u.
Darling cadets, i love u.
AISS, i love u, still.
NYP, i love u.
Family, i reali reali actualie love u...
but im hurt by u.

~mielaydee~

i screwed up today.

2006-07-09T17:37:00.000+08:00

dreams

2006-07-05T10:06:00.000+08:00

yest was de first time i slept early after i dunoe how many years. 10.30pm. wow. n im still so tired. there is juz too much to do bt so lil time. partly mayb bcoz i love procrastinating.

goin 4 drama n silat later in de afternoon. the silat uniform is ready 4 collection. woww weee. bt now i haf one prob. where m i suppose 2 hide it n even wash it? mayb i will jus ask the help of my cousin. i hope she supports me then. haiz. in the lab now. waiting 4 the tutor to give us password to continue on doin our test for microsoft excel. i tink its kind of no point ah. coz after doin, i will forget. so wads de point? ryt? hahaha.

watch mega perdana last nite on the telly. almost forgot till i saw the nick of one of my msn contacts. i watch after 30mins it started. hmmm. it was unlike de usual mega perdana. they dun reali show the performance this time. they cut too much n they featured too much on how the grp started n all. its quite gd ah. bt dun cut too much n prevent us from watching de full performance. disappointed ah.

stuck wif mostly emo malay songs now. dunnno y. hahaha. n stuck wif playing worms on my hp. =) damn fun la ehh... i can even get into the game itself juz like how guys watch soccer. hehe. ok, im done. gotta do my test now. =)

~mielaydee~

he's gone

2006-07-04T12:37:00.000+08:00

wth. he went wifout saying gdbye. m i not his fren? or he is juz plain lazy? ergh.

life has been dull for me.

~mielaydee~

dozing off

2006-07-04T00:24:00.000+08:00

god, i almost dozed off waiting 4 this page 2 b uploaded by the server. not bcoz it is slow. becoz im too tired.

wokeup early in morning. wore formal to sch. had presentation. comm skills. then went to TFA, theatre for de arts in sch 4 de production full rhsl. so drained out. haiz.

take care everyone. i love all of u,my frenz. gonna meet sum of de mango guys 2mr. insyallah. =) see u all 2mr.

~mielaydee~

sun day = boring day

2006-07-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

god... its so bored 2dae. bt hey, i finished up comm skill's assignment. got ready sum white shirt. bt still out of ncc skirt. ergH.

basically juz went 4 my religious class from 8-11. but i went in at 9. hehehe. hmm. then went home wif mum. met this siao guy who boarded de bus wifout a shirt while talking to himself. fell asleep in de bus when nearing home. walked de long distance home from the bus stop wif mum. then thought of havin a nap. bt couldnt. so proceeded wif assignment. then watched sum TV. then cooked mee bandung. then... searched 4 de costumes 4 de production. then log on msn.

boring rytE? oh yah. chatted wif ain. n yeah. boys r pain in de butt. all the JANtan.... haha. to my guy homies. u guys r 1/2 de pain ah. u guys r still a lil pain in de butt. haha. bt, c'mon, i love u guys my frenz =)

gotta iron my formal clothes 4 kamalam's presentation soon. surprisingly, i didnt spend anytin 2 buy formal clothes. im reusing, mixing n matching. too much spenditure ah recently. pity my mum. she looked so sad when giving me money 2 top up n activate my ezlink. i felt like crying sey. i reali can see her pain. how i wish i m workin n not using her money... :(

~mielaydee~

after 1 mth.

2006-07-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

its after 1 mth dat i went 4 silat trg today. n it felt great. tho i had side stitch and was a lil heavy on the head. i pushed myself n i did it. i did had sum veri minor injuries. on hands n feet. bt it feels nice. =) i miss n love silat trg. after the production end, i will attend silat as usual. n of coz, attend PS normally.

woke up so sleepily. took a quick bath, packed and dressed. went out of the house. my ambition was to meet ain at last cabin of adm mrt stn by 9.45. bt ended up she was late. so i proceeded on my own. n shit la. went i boarded de bus, my sec sch ez-link expired. n i didnt haf coins. so i made a mangkuk face. luckily i was wearing shades. wuhahaha. paiseh. anyway, then i bought the ticket to yck mrt. dropped there, n while collecting my deposit, met rafie and we walked to sch together, went by de back. so damn bloody hot. sweating all the way. its been a long time since i met him. not much conversations tho coz i was listenin 2 songs n he was wif his thoughts. bt i talked sum basic stuff wif him. his face looked tired n stressed. yah, wif projects n assgnmts. wad else?

trg was nice ah. more comp based. counter-attack n throws. fun ah. bt today,many ppl were injured. i oso had my first injuries, wif ain. hehe. ended off, n went to meet up wif the homies. they were havin dikir. walked out of sch wif them to mrt stn. boarded the train wif aameer n An.

walked home. bought sum food since i was starving n then headed home. put the stuff n lied strait on de bed, and suddenly i became paralysed. haha. then fadilla called n asked me over. n im goin over soon after blogging now. heehz.

6 more days to Pondok production. c'mon ppl, we can do it. to the main cast, cmon, i believe in u guys! =)

~mielaydee~

drum drum drum

2006-06-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

so bloddy tired. hahaz. basically, the more than 12 hrs of TFA drained out my energy. i tink i prefer not goin 4 classes. oh god. pls dun b back 2 my lazy mode again.

i cant wait 4 de production camp. when i can spend more time wif my frenz, pusaka seni n oso de whole of MCG. n guess wad? i can wear de pants i bought last yr oready. the one where u haf 2 tie n if u dun tie properly can see ur legs one. hehe. i learnt from yana, bedah, khai n primadonna how 2 wear. yeay yeay.

went 2 sch at 9am today. skipped de makeup for comm skills at 8am n makeup lecture for computer applications at 1pm. bored to death. hung out wif de homies. watched de hot babes dance during lunch time CPF competition thingy. went back n played sum drums wif de dikir. afiq taught me sum beats. i wanna try it again 2mr ah. headed home at 4pm wif elfi. he was 3/4 dead liao. i hopes he realii went home n sleep. i pity him la. i dun see him fresh n smiley. so boring.

i slept when i got home. wif de makeup dat kak sue put on 4 me still on. dat shows how exhausted i was. woke up, had a bath. my hair is still scorpion. hehe. oh yah, i bought the STYLE magazine. n am so happy dat i got the shades. haha.

oh yah, i made a lot of new frenz yesterday during de rhsl at TFA.
Primadonna. she is such a nice person. so frenly. no. very very very frenly. n she is so pretty. n dances well. gosh. i aint lesbian bt these r my thoughts.

Suhendi is also another person i met. ayu n aminah's schmate n gd fren too.

Farhan is also another person i met. n he taught me this phrase. "cakap salah, tk cakap pon salah" heehee. oh yah. this is dikir year 1 farhan. haha.

oh yah. another event. haha. while playing wif nicholas, i accidentally hit his specs. gosh. then it dropped. n bent. lucky i push here push there than the specs ok abit. haha. next time he must wear contacts when want to play2 wimme. muahaha.

planning wif jewelry where 2 go 2mr during the 3 hr break. still thinking. or mayb juz stay in sch. start n finish my 1209 prject. haizz. im such in deep shiet. gd luck, mielaydee.

~mielaydee~

KL pics.

2006-06-26T18:23:00.000+08:00

me n wafiq;my cousin. brother to izzaty n armani. he looks at cameras in bewilderment!
the cool bridge. it made me feel as if i was in another 'world'. haha.

Palace of Justice. so called de judge's palace. its so beautiful. de front door is so BEAUTIFUL!
me n my cousin infront of de putrajaya mosque.

The B-E-A-U-tiful mosque of putrajaya. from the lakeside view.
At Genting Higlands... soo damn cold. but i purposely din wear my jacket. cool weather.

my cousin;armani. cool name huh? she's the 'ati anai gurl'. hehe. sister of izzaty, see below pic.

At Alamanda shopping ctr. adila; my niece, me, izzaty;my cousin. de starbucks there greaat! thumbs up 4 de service!

uneasiness of de never-ending dream.

2006-06-26T18:08:00.000+08:00

victoria beckham? aaha. dat was wad kor said last nite. wuahaha. asian vic beckham. i guess im reali so dark till he says so. haiiz.

n now, i noe dat i can upload my pics in de entries wifout using photobucket. idiotic me. thkz 2 jason. haha. after de break, everyone looked different. i dunnoe y. mayb i tink we grew to look more matured. hehe. i miss my class alot. haiiz.

my days r numbered. haha. im gonna die soon. n i feel so lonely everyday recently. tho im arnd ppl. i still feel as if im lonely n nobody is there 4 me. de lonely path...

n... as i guessed. no one from my family is coming 4 de production. it still hurts tho i see it coming. bt nvm lahz. i still got frenz like fayyadh & wanie who r willing 2 come down n support me n de production. thkz guys. i love u wanie. thkz gurl.

~mielaydee~

mimpi yang tk sudah

2006-06-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

Apa maknanya impian
datang dan pergi
membawa hati menyusuri kembali
jalan-jalan sepi

kau.. kah di situ
yang menantiku
atau jelmaan detik kenangan
yang bernama pengalaman

siapakah diantara kita
dengan rela menjadi pendusta
siapakah dulu membina harapan
dan siapa yang memusnahkan impian

tanpa sebab dan alasan
kau mainkan perasaan
bagai taufan tiba-tiba datang
dan menghilang

kau bayang-bayang
masa nan silam
ada ketika terbawa-bawa
oleh resah mimpi yang tak sudah

and... sarwan's bro, saiful sang dat song. i must say, he reali has a great voice. better than sarwan i guess. sorry bedah! hehe. i tink he is de second anuar zain dat i noe in my life. haha.

had drama today. woke up early wif my whole body aching. haiz. too tired i almost felt like not coming 4 rhsl. luckily i went. bt im dead beat now. assignments all not done. n still tired to do anytin. im so freakin dead! n i look so pale. my lips r blue. i duno y.

~mielaydee~

sunburnt

2006-06-23T21:38:00.000+08:00

jeng jeng jeng. im back home. oh so god damn tired. it feels as if no matter how long i sleep, im still tired. ergh.

2mr got both drama n silat. oh my godddd! at this rate, im gonna die earlier. (nauzubillah.) slept in de gym room this morning since we all ended AAR late n went 2 7-11 to get snacks first. it was so freaking freezing wif de rainy weather n aircon of 18'C. watched "Underworld Evolution" halfway thru n surrendered. woke up at 5am to do sentry wif ruzaini while de cadets were sleepin together like sum construction workers under de block. they were suppose to sleep in bashaS. bt since it was raining, they juz slept at the classroom corridors n they all slept together squeezily when actualie the space so big. haha.

guess wad? wif me bringing a pillow along 4 sentry n lying down... i fell asleep! shit. hohoho. dats de end of me. next time, i wont. haha. so, woke up at de end of sentry at 6am n continued my slumber in de gym again. by the time me n ruz got back, kholid n ridhwan were snoring so loudly away. wth.

then woke up at 7.10am. quickly packed n left de sch wif azmin n afif. reached home, changed out n slept again. woke up around 12. prepared my uniform n rushed to AISS back. took sum pics n after de parade, went for bubble tea wif sum of the cadets n headed home. slept again. n woke up, had dinnner n now logged on de net. wad a week. n oh yah. i was sunburnt on wed, 21june while kayaking at kallang. luckily i put on a cap. if not, not onli my hands gonna be in pain still now, bt my face too. its still so red now...

Me n the Alphas.

~mielaydee~

ABC camp

2006-06-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

now in AISS. havin Alpha Bravo Charlie camp. its so boring. unlike the traditional camp. haiz. so sad. its so stupid ah. no nite mission. haiyo. so sad. sentry. sentry??? why de F he like sentry so much? so stupid larrrz.

haiyo.had drama juz now. i dance suckily. stupid ahh. i still cant really get the dance steps for the hip hop or even de whole dance much. duno y. sorry elfi. elfi's sis, elfiqa came. she is so0o0o cute!!!! hehe...

tired. now gonna have AAR wif CO. bubye~!

~mielaydee~

heloo again AISS

2006-06-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

its a boring day 4 a bored gurl 2dae. haiizz... never smsed anyone much. did nothing but read n msn-ed n blogged. went to causeway pt 4 a while. haiz.

but suddenly i thought of my past. the past that i have long buried at the back of my mind. which was actually beautiful n cheerful past. the past where i loved, lost, gained, made, broken, promised, enjoyed, joked, tied, untied and at last, ended. where many beautiful frenships were forged. never forgotten bt juz buried at the back of my mind. traumatized i was of it. happy i was about it. sad i was about it. and even cried because of it...

but now everytin is over. everyone moved on. but sumhow, i dunnoe y, a very little voice in my heart tells me that it wished everytin did not ended. that it has continued n bloomed. but of coz, it is not possible. just wishful thinking of the lil voice's part. but i admit. it is sad to see us saying gdbye to what we had held on strongly to before...

but life goes on. n it is still going on. i am happy with my life now. contented. grateful enough. though there are some other loopholes. but im grateful to God. i am still alive and living normally... nevermind about HimS...

~mielaydee~

ati anai laaa...!

2006-06-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

helu s'pore. im back. had a great time at KL. wif cousins... rides... shopping...n etc.

bt still, i miss my home, frenz...n NYP. haha. where all the fun is. will upload pics soon. went to Genting Highlands too. bonded wif my cousins... all so cute. y i name this entry 'ati anai'? coz my second cousin, she still cant speak properly tho she is reaching 3 end of de year. so, the other time she was playing cooking so she ask me 2 taste n i asked her, wad it was. she said 'ati anai' which actualie means roti canai, or prata in s'pore terms. when other ppl kept on asking her de same question, she screamed "ati anai laaa!!!" haha. so cute.

went petaling street, putrajaya n observed KLCC at nite juz outside. its so beautiful... haiiz. too bad we didnt get a chance to go in KLCC. coz my uncle's house abit far from KL central. need 2 travel atleast 20mins. bt its still fun. get 2 go out everyday. hehe. got to eat at A&W. aha. no more in spore. wow. great experience 4 me.

ok la. im tired. bye

~mielaydee~

KL, here i come!

2006-06-12T23:32:00.001+08:00

heyys. today, started off de dae damn damn damn bad. bt ended off damn damn damn nice.
early in de morning, was insulted, cursed and threatened by my dad. n he purposely talk n talk n talk till i was late 2 meet elfi. elfi was panickin n call me 13 times!!! actualie 14 or 15 times!!! wow. twice i rejected, the other times i din pick up coz my dad was down there humiliating me. makin me feel like a piece of S*%&.

then met elfi, went 4 de pizza champ challenge. my stomach gonna burst of eating too much drumlets. haha. i din eat much pizza. MAIs DONT EAT PIZZAs. then went home, too tired 2 meet shaheed.

then my sis asked me 2 help her transfer files from her thumbdrive to her SD card 4 her hp. in de end de SD card got stuck in de laptop. atfirst i told myself, i shldnt haf cancelled my outing wif shaheed, bt guess wad? i din regret at all in de end. in de noisy-ness of my sis wailing n crying n cursing me 4 her stucked SD card i was actualie sms-ing Him. so i asked Him where he tinks i can get it out.

so he suggested Causeway Pt. n he volunteered to accompany. yeay. its been a long time since we met. i miss His company. so, i reached first n asked arnd. in de end, cant. haiz. so my 2nd plan, bought de set dat has de pincers 2 pluck eyebrow. i gave it 2 Him... i dunno wad He did bt He did magic. de SD card came out. PHEW. i almost said i love Him in relieve ah. bt, cant la.
so, then went shopping, He accompanied. its fun la bein wif Him. bein wif Him is juz like bein wif Hairini, my gurl bestie, onli dat its a lil bit nicer wif Him. so, then after shopping n He carried all the things, sent me home. nice ryt 2 haf a company liddat?

n now, im blogging. still havent pack my bags, haiyo. goin 2 KL 2mr 11am!!! atleast i can wake up late abit. hehe.

ok, so long. i hate my dad n sibs. bt i still love my life. surrounded by other beautiful ppl. n, my mummy.

~mielaydee~

2006-06-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

KL here i come...

2006-06-12T22:52:00.001+08:00

heyys. today, started off de dae damn damn damn bad. bt ended off damn damn damn nice.

early in de morning, was insulted, cursed and threatened by my dad. n he purposely talk n talk n talk till i was late 2 meet elfi. elfi was panickin n call me 13 times!!! actualie 14 or 15 times!!! wow. twice i rejected, the other times i din pick up coz my dad was down there humiliating me. makin me feel like a piece of S*%&.

then met elfi, went 4 de pizza champ challenge. my stomach gonna burst of eating too much drumlets. haha. i din eat much pizza. MAIs DONT EAT PIZZAs. then went home, too tired 2 meet shaheed.

then my sis asked me 2 help her transfer files from her thumbdrive to her SD card 4 her hp. in de end de SD card got stuck in de laptop. atfirst i told myself, i shldnt haf cancelled my outing wif shaheed, bt guess wad? i din regret at all in de end. in de noisy-ness of my sis wailing n crying n cursing me 4 her stucked SD card i was actualie sms-ing Him. so i asked Him where he tinks i can get it out.

so he suggested Causeway Pt. n he volunteered to accompany. yeay. its been a long time since we met. i miss His company. so, i reached first n asked arnd. in de end, cant. haiz. so my 2nd plan, bought de set dat has de pincers 2 pluck eyebrow. i gave it 2 Him... i dunno wad He did bt He did magic. de SD card came out. PHEW. i almost said i love Him in relieve ah. bt, cant la.

so, then went shopping, He accompanied. its fun la bein wif Him. bein wif Him is juz like bein wif Hairini, my gurl bestie, onli dat its a lil bit nicer wif Him. so, then after shopping n He carried all the things, sent me home. nice ryt 2 haf a company liddat?

n now, im blogging. still havent pack my bags, haiyo. goin 2 KL 2mr 11am!!! atleast i can wake up late abit. hehe.

ok, so long. i hate my dad n sibs. bt i still love my life. surrounded by other beautiful ppl. n, my mummy.

KL here i come...

2006-06-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

heyys. today, started off de dae damn damn damn bad. bt ended off damn damn damn nice.

early in de morning, was insulted, cursed and threatened by my dad. n he purposely talk n talk n talk till i was late 2 meet elfi. elfi was panickin n call me 13 times!!! actualie 14 or 15 times!!! wow. twice i rejected, the other times i din pick up coz my dad was down there humiliating me. makin me feel like a piece of S*%&.

then met elfi, went 4 de pizza champ challenge. my stomach gonna burst of eating too much drumlets. haha. i din eat much pizza. MAIs DONT EAT PIZZAs. then went home, too tired 2 meet shaheed.

then my sis asked me 2 help her transfer files from her thumbdrive to her SD card 4 her hp. in de end de SD card got stuck in de laptop. atfirst i told myself, i shldnt haf cancelled my outing wif shaheed, bt guess wad? i din regret at all in de end. in de noisy-ness of my sis wailing n crying n cursing me 4 her stucked SD card i was actualie sms-ing Him. so i asked Him where he tinks i can get it out.

so he suggested Causeway Pt. n he volunteered to accompany. yeay. its been a long time since we met. i miss His company. so, i reached first n asked arnd. in de end, cant. haiz. so my 2nd plan, bought de set dat has de pincers 2 pluck eyebrow. i gave it 2 Him... i dunno wad He did bt He did magic. de SD card came out. PHEW. i almost said i love Him in relieve ah. bt, cant la.

so, then went shopping, He accompanied. its fun la bein wif Him. bein wif Him is juz like bein wif Hairini, my gurl bestie, onli dat its a lil bit nicer wif Him. so, then after shopping n He carried all the things, sent me home. nice ryt 2 haf a company liddat?

n now, im blogging. still havent pack my bags, haiyo. goin 2 KL 2mr 11am!!! atleast i can wake up late abit. hehe.

ok, so long. i hate my dad n sibs. bt i still love my life. surrounded by other beautiful ppl. n, my mummy.

pizza anyone?

2006-06-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

oh well. been quite a few days since i last updated. i guess no one even reads. oh well. wadever. anyway, finally. FINALLY, He contacts me.

ok, dats bsides de point. 2mr gonna go 4 de pizza eating competition. i dunnoe aameer goin onot. i bet im gonna lose coz i dun eat pizzas. haha.

i miss joking wif Him. its been awhile since we met... miss Him la as a whole.

oh well, on friday, went to causeway point wif elf, meer, dok, bedah n sarwan. den khai joined later. n we discussed hot topics 4 de day. hehe. was fun. eventho i was angry n frustrated most of de time coz of de hot topic, it was nice talkin abt it n releasing all my anger.

i wish n pray 4 marni's mum 2 get better. oh god, pls save marni's mum for she is such a kind n nice person. insyallah~

i'm goin to KL to my uncle's house next week.. mayb from wed to sat. i will bring him(my laptop) wimme. i can nvr live wifout him. hope there will b wireless to be tapped. aameer was lucky. oh well...

~mielaydee~

seracenoon

2006-06-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

haiiz. i guess i reali haf 2 accept reality again. reality check check check!
i gues seracenoon.

im not a perfect person...
there's many things i wish i didnt do
and i continue learning...
i never wish i had this kind of life...

and so i haf 2 say before i go...

GOODBYE... to maizatul husna.

HELLO... to annonymous laydee.

the two-sided.

~mielaydee~

tired me.

2006-06-07T10:37:00.000+08:00

heyluu. im so bloody tired. tired tired tired. had drama training yesterday n i guess it was de best of all i have ever attended. de dance, de skit, de frenz and most of all, the concentration game. thks kak sue 4 de concentration game.

the concentration game realli helped me alot. helped me realise the truth. made me do a realtiy check. n made me discover dat yes, im a grown gurl now. and that i should live and face up all my problems. and also learn how 2 understand other ppl.

yes, last nite i reali say everything out to khai n he too, say everytin 2 me. eventhough it was a few years ago, or wad ppl say,"in de deep past", we didnt talked abt it then. so, the grudge kind of stayed there n nvr ever left our minds. then, we were still kids, sec sch life... then, we couldnt open up enuff to talk as a girl n boy. then, we nvr thought we were gd frenz or even love each other so much as a fren. then, we were juz, schmate, clsmate, juz frenz...

now... now we realise we r frenz. veri gd frenz n dat we treasure each other. we realised we r de pillar of strength to each other. n we realise dat we matter alot to each other. n now, we understand each other's real character. n would want each other to change for the better.

yes, i love khai as my fren truly alot. n i would nvr throw our frenship away. i reali treasure him from the bottom of my heart. he means alot to me. i can nvr imagine a day wifout him bein my fren. juz like how i feel for my gurlfrenz, i feel the same abt him too. now that im faraway from my gurlfrenz, since we r so busy n in different courses, not even in the same CCA, i can onli sought to khai as my always forever fren since then...

i noe, i would never haf a good family. not even good relatives la hor... i tink its God's willing that i live in my family this way. it's His willing dat i will never taste sibling's love. or even taste the parent's softness of care n concern. i will never hear my parents saying "I love u Husna" and i will never hear my siblings say "U are my best adik"... i will never see my parents smile, proud of ALL the achievements i haf long achieved. from the best PSLE result, bein a leader in NCC, bein a student councillor and being a CLT. they would nvr feel happy n proud of me hearing ppl say they look up 2 me coz they think im a gd leader. or even b proud 2 hear ppl sayin im responsible and hardworking. determined. never.

all i ever got was juz sneering, snorting, glaring, insults and screwing. bt, i juz thank god 4 everytin. coz i noe, this is juz His willing. thkz kak sue for makin me realise this. thankz. i love u kak sue. n i love u all. my frenz. thkz 4 bein the roses and beautiful flowers in my garden of heaven...

~mielaydee~

mistake

2006-06-05T15:52:00.000+08:00

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! im real sorry ppl. i didnt notice my previous post had a mistake. shit. the sentence im beginning to fall for him is not linked to the previous sentence. oh shit.im real sorrie. the sentence was meant for sumone else. walao.

i dun like khai la. not more than a fren. im so sorie. i typed de post wrongly. anyways, i was back from malacca yesterday. n the trip was so fun juz like any other trip. i love my cuzzies. as usual, i would bath the smallies n make up the biggie girls. the boys, i would wrestle wif them n go exploring. haha! like they say, "s'pore girls are not shy wif boys unlike m'sia girls"

but then. then moment i board the express bus back to s'pore.. i kept on thinking when is the next PS trg n abt all the things i did wif de PS team. =)

ok, so my cousin's wedding went smoothly. i had de chance of blessing them. hehe. my first time putting the rice n "air mawar" on their hands. bt hell, i did it wrongly abit. haha. bt nice la. so, here are sum pics taken during my trip. n i met his bro, who i havent meet for 6 yrs.... ahhh! he has grown to be a fine young man. n he looks different from he was young. totally...

Long lost cousin

me n the newly-weds

the newly weds, at my cousin hse on sunday

blueks. me n ammar ali aka dak koboy

the one in red, my fav cousin. nashreq

the very pretty bride

i pale bside her...

me n the Dak BoyS

syaqeenah nur husna and maizatul husna

me n amalina

me n dak boy

on saturday at the bride's hse

raining morning sunday

~mielaydee~

martial arts day.

2006-06-02T20:48:00.000+08:00

oh well. im still not over depression. haiz. bt 2mr im goin back 2 malacca. yeay. sumtin dat can divert my attention. i will get 2 meet nashreq my cousin. i miss him so much. he didnt reply my sms. his ppd must b low in m'sia. haha. still havent packed yet tho.

i reali love pusaka seni. i dunnoe bt i feel so happy wif them. being wif them... makes me feel im complete. i feel whole. i fit in. gosh. im flooding my eyes now. n sorry if i n khai quarrel too much. its been so since sec sch. im de one who is always angry wif him. haha.

im beginning 2 fall for hIm...

anyway, martial arts 2dayy. pictures says a thousand words...

bruises of ain n mai

simply regu

srikanda n srikandi

me n bro meow

regu freshies n shahrul blurred.

another week

2006-06-01T11:59:00.000+08:00

oh well. let me start off by saying, i guess im still not over my depression period. oh well.

anyways, this weekend i will goin back to malacca for my cousin's wedding. my uncle just passed away but too bad, we had 2 continue on wif de wedding. haiz,. i feel so sad. oh well.

monday:silat training. 4 martial arts day
tuseday:drama general meeting plus production rehearsal.
wednesday:silat training. 4 martial arts day
thursday: silat training 4 martial arts day
friday: martial arts day n jam & hop.
weekends: malacca!!

its a damn tiring week. can say weeks too la. when i take pics nowadays, i notice a BIG difference in me from starting of sch n now. its coz i look more tired, face look older n dat i haf eyebags!!!haiiz. anyway, to anyone who is goin 4 jam & hop, inform me yah. lets go together. beep me.

i dun understand y there r not much faithful guys left in this world. when i listen 2 my gurlfrenz stories n ppl's stories i juz feel sad dat things aint beautiful anymore. i feel dat the world is corrupted. wad to do, a world of technology. so upgraded. not much left of faithful guys. n gurls i guess.

met hong da in de mcdonald's canteen juz now. he was damn shocked dat he slided back from his seat, he accidentally kicked his fren n his fren spilled coffee. haha. i was laughing my ass off of coz. hehehe!

anyway, ive been thinking dat japanese or korean music is quite nice. wadever u call it. my clsmates r so into it dat im influenced too i guess. like kah wei's drawing, n sid's blog wif de songs. jason oso let me listen to this music ah. damn nice. im influenced. haha!

oh well, im so tired dat i tink i can nvr sleep enuff. there's juz so lil time 2 sleep coz there's juz so much 2 do. gonna live my teenage life as much as i can. hell wif wadever He says. i can run away from home if im cruel enuff. juz like my sis. He shld b thkful dat i wont do so. coz i shall gif him face in de family.

~mai~

insulted

2006-05-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

im insulted. time n again. juz as the moment i stepped in my hm, insults came shooting at me..

bt i guess i feel better now.
thanks 2 serene, nicholas, hazhim, marni. i love u guys. thkz 4 caring!

sum pics...

'_*m!3LaYDe3*_'0nDaLoose

moved

great weekend

missing out

sejarah mungkin berulang

bored dayy

my heart/bila rindu

another MC day

a trip to geylang wif sweetie

faithful

more n more?

yakin

tiada lagi

a gud gerl's day

a walk down memory lane

mcm biase jugakKk

first rshl of hari raya production 06

its a small world afterall

september babieS

great great day shopping

i dont mind.

sober

thks eh

friggin F

tired n broken

jamming was gewek

should i whisper?

east coast

you you you

eye bags

tiring dayyy

forbidden siren

flat hair, rainy day

finished SSC

black black eye bags under my eyes...

black black eye bags under my eyes...

me n you

dunoe wads next

my plans...

wads de next step?

strong n patient.

all my fault

hating it

y m i always stuck in any situation?

i miss...u

a walk around town

i dont need a guy

broken...

screaaaaam

this can't be right

im down

horrible creature...

tired

love kfc love pizza hut.

lost

PS 2 n a lousy soccer match

the nite at afiq's...

still tired

blog revamp!

i dunoe

dead duck

ku sedar...

tak ada logika

mai in tarian?

dull

2 schools in my heart

bleed to death

thkz 2 all

stressed to the max.

black n blue.

it's time.

sweet sweet days comin

Jubilant Concert

thkx guys.

a life story

i screwed up today.

i screwed up today.

dreams

he's gone

dozing off

'_m!3LaYDe3_'0nDaLoose